CHURCH BLOOPERS

1. The Scouts are saving aluminum cans,
bottles and other items
to be recycled.
Proceeds will be used
to cripple children.

2. Ladies Bible Study will be held
Thursday morning at 10.
All ladies are invited to lunch
in the Fellowship Hall
after the B.S. is done.

3. The pastor would appreciate it
if the ladies of the congregation
would lend him their electric girdles
for the pancake breakfast
next Sunday morning.

4. Low Self Esteem Support Group
will meet Thursday at 7 PM.
Please use the back door.

5. The pastor will preach
his farewell message,
after which the choir will sing,
"Break Forth Into Joy."

6. A songfest was hell
at the Methodist church Wednesday.

7. Remember in prayer
the many who are sick
of our church and community.

8. The eighth-graders will be presenting
Shakespeare's Hamlet
in the Church basement
Friday at 7 PM.
The Congregation is invited
to attend this tragedy.

9. Thursday night Potluck Supper.
Prayer and medication to follow.

10. The rosebud on the altar this morning
is to announce the birth of David,
the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Adams.

11. Tuesday at 4 PM
there will be an ice cream social.
All ladies giving milk
will please come early.

12. A bean supper will be held
on Tuesday evening
in the church hall.
Music will follow.

13. At the evening service tonight,
the sermon topic will be
"What Is Hell?"
Come early and listen
to our choir practice.

14. Weight Watchers will meet
at 7 PM
at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use large double door
at the side entrance

15. Mrs. Johnson will be
entering the hospital this week
for testes.

16. Please join us
as we show our support
for Amy and Alan who
are preparing for the girth
of their first child.

17. The Lutheran Men's group
will meet at 6 PM.
Steak, mashed potatoes,
green beans, bread and dessert
will be served for a nominal feel.

18. The Associate Minister
unveiled the church's
new tithing campaign slogan
last Sunday:
"I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."

19. Our next song is
"Angels We Have Heard Get High."

20. Don't let worry kill you,
let the church help.

21. For those of you who have children
and don't know it,
we have a nursery downstairs.

22. This being Easter Sunday,
we will ask Mrs. Lewis
to come forward
and lay an egg on the altar.

23. The service will close
with Little Drops of Water.
One of the ladies
will start quietly
and the rest
of the congregation
will join in.

24. Eight new choir robes
are currently needed,
due to the addition
of several new members
and to the deterioration
of some older ones.

25. The senior choir invites
any member of the congregation
who enjoys sinning
to join the choir.