Signs you've chosen a *no frills* airline...

** You can't board the plane unless you have the exact
change.

** Before you take off, the stewardess tells you to fasten
your Velcro.

** The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little
for gas.

** When they pull the steps away, the plane starts rocking.

** The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows
off the runway.

** You ask the Captain how often their planes crash and he
says, "Just once."

** No movie. Don't need one. Your life keeps flashing
before your eyes.

** You see a man with a gun, but he's demanding to be let
off the plane.

** All the planes have both a bathroom and a chapel.