Getting Old

In case you didn't realize it, as we get older we develop a marvelous sense
of humor. In many cases, it's simply a matter of survival. Here
are a few examples:


An older Jewish gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he
insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the
operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia he asked to speak to his
son.

"Yes, Dad, what is it?"

"Don't be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go
well, if something happens to me ... your mother is going to come
and live with you and your wife...."
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Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age
and start bragging about it.

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The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

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Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know
"why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the
roads weren't paved.

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How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

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When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of
Algebra.
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You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

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I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

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One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a
nice change from being young.

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Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

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Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they
don't recognize you.

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If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at
when you are old.

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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up
your zipper. It's worse when you forget to pull it down.

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Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called
witchcraft... Today, it's called golf.