Customized Pizza Order

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut.
How May I serve you..."

Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order."

Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"

Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold
on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610."

Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you
live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone
number's 494-2366. Your office number over at
Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's
266-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir?"

Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get
all this information?"

Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir."

Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order
a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas..."

Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea,
sir."

Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate
that you've got very high blood pressure and
extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health
Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."

Customer: "Damn. What do you recommend, then?"

Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean
Yogurt Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it"

Customer: "What makes you think I'd like
something like that?"

Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet
Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week,
sir. That's why I made the suggestion."

Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two
family-sized ones, then. What's the damage?"

Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your
wife and your four kids, sir. The 'damage,' as you
put it, heh, heh, comes $49.99."

Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card
number."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid
you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance
is over its limit."

Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get
some cash before your driver gets here."

Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your
checking account's overdrawn."

Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas.
I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?"

Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir.
It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry
you might want to pick 'em up while you're out
getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a
motorcycle can be a little awkward."

Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding
a bike?"

Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on
your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your
Harley's paid up, so I just assumed that you'd be
using it."

Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!"

Operator: "I'd advise watching your language,
sir. You've already got a July 2006 conviction for
cussing out a cop."

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"

Customer: "No, nothing. oh, yeah, don't forget
the two free liters of Coke your ad says I get with
the pizzas."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our advert's
exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free
soda to diabetics."