Funny Jokes

10.04.2003

Submitted by Under The Rainbow's Joke Ezine

Old MacDonald

Two football players were taking an important final exam. If they
failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to
play in the Sugar Bowl the following week. The exam was fill-in-
the-blank. The last question read, "Old MacDonald had a
_________."

Bubba was stumped. He had no idea of the answer. He knew he
needed to get this one right to be sure he passed. Making sure
the professor wasn't watching, he tapped Cletus on the shoulder.
"Pssst. Cletus. What's the answer to the last question?"

Cletus laughed. He looked around to make sure the professor
hadn't noticed then he turned to Bubba. "Bubba, you're so stupid.
Everyone knows Old MacDonald had a farm."

"Oh yeah," said Bubba. "I remember now." He picked up his No. 2
pencil and started to write the answer in the blank. He stopped.
Reaching to tap Cletus's shoulder again, he whispered, "Cletus,
how do you spell farm?"

"You are really dumb, Bubba. That's so easy. Farm is spelled
E-I-E-I-O."

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10.03.2003

Too Late

The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items. I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car, his bony arm across the back of my seat.

I hadn't considered the drive across town. At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside me became obvious, and I looked across and explained, "I'm delivering him to my doctor's office."

The other driver leaned out of his window.

"I hate to tell you, lady," he said, "but I think it's too late!"

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10.02.2003

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9.30.2003

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her
son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a
tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother
smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to
sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky
little voice: "The big sissy."


An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally
asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over
and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the
door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'

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