Funny Jokes

12.18.2003

Political jokes require a few footnotes


Published December 14, 2003 POLB14

If you're just tuning in to the political scene (and by the way, welcome aboard) the following wisecracks may not mean much to you, so we've explained them at the bottom of today's Buzz. The jokes were delivered by Donna Brazile, who was Al Gore's campaign manager in 2000, at the Winter Gridiron Dinner at the Greenbrier Hotel in West Virginia. They were reported by Lloyd Grove in the New York Daily News:

"John Kerry really wanted to be here. Unfortunately, he fired his scheduler, both of his drivers quit and his wife thinks this place is a slum. She does, however, encourage you to enjoy the ketchup. . . . Howard Dean would like to be here, but this is the night he attends anger-management class. . . . John Edwards wanted to be here, but the ambulance he was chasing took a wrong turn."

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The old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer. "I want to become a Democrat. Get me a change of registration form." "You can do it", the lawyer said, "But why? You'll be dead soon, why do you want to become a Democrat?" "That's my business! Get me the form!"

Four days later, the old man got his registration changed. His lawyer was at his bedside making sure his bill would be paid. Suddenly the old man was racked with fits of coughing, and it was clear that this would be the end. Still curious, the lawyer leaned over and said, "Please, before it's too late, tell me why you wanted to become a Democrat so badly before you died?" In a faint whisper, as he breathed his last, the old man said: "One less Democrat".

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12.16.2003

WESH.com - News - Men Admit Stealing Christmas Trees To Buy Crack: "Men Admit Stealing Christmas Trees To Buy Crack
POSTED: 2:38 p.m. EST December 3, 2003
UPDATED: 2:42 p.m. EST December 3, 2003
BONITA SPRINGS, Fla. -- Two Southwest Florida men arrested for stealing Christmas trees from a Rotary Club tent said they intended to exchange them for crack cocaine or food."

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