How To Frustrate A Man

Shrink his underwear in the dryer and when he complains, innocently suggest that he's gained a few pounds.

"Accidentally" fill the gas tank of his new Porsche with diesel.

Have your mother fly in for a month-long visit, totally unannounced.

Insist upon a lot of "meaningful conversations."

Take the batteries out of all the remotes in the house. Hide them well.

Organize his desk, workshop, bedroom, or other special place.

Repeatedly lose his cellular phone in restaurants around town.

Bribe his faithful dog away from him with a steady diet of Ding Dongs.

Misplace the cordless phone, preferably in a different room each time every other day for three weeks...

Reverse his contact lenses in their case.
Loan his precious cellular phone to a pregnant girlfriend who "needs it more than he does."

Snip a small hole in his fishing waders, then follow him with a camera to capture his "sinking" on film.

Stare at his forehead and when he notices, casually ask if there is any history of male pattern baldness on his mother's side.

Superglue the pages of his Little Black Book together.


Maricopa County Fair

It's tough getting old!

A whole new twist to the blue pill .....

An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and
asked the Pharmacist for the little blue " Viagra " pill.

The pharmacist asked "How many?"

The man replied, "Just a few, maybe a half dozen. I
cut each one into four pieces."

The pharmacist said, "That's too small a dose. That
won't get you through sex."

The old fellow said, "Oh, I'm past eighty years old
and I don't even think about sex much anymore. I just want it to
stick out far enough so I don't pee on my new shoes...."