What Goes Around......... 2035 AD



News flash just in for the year 2035.

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in
the seventh largest country in the world, California.

White minorities still trying to have English
recognized as California’s third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United
States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally... Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual
marriage.

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the
American Territory of the Middle East(formerly known
as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon). Iraq still
closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least
ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe
levels.

France pleads for global help after being overtaken by
Jamaica.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now
be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has
banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to
$17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only.

35 year study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight
loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates
their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven
inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers,
screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers
must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal
political contributions to campaign accounts.
Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex
with congressman.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%.

Florida Democrats still have not figured out how to
use a voting Machine.