[arizona_humor] Fw: instruction

----- Original Message -----
From: Chell
To: arizona_humor-owner@

ONE day in artillery instruction, a colonel
came to inspect our class. First up was Private
O'Malley. The colonel got in his face and asked
him what reading he had on his 105 mm. howitzer.
"Two-nine-oh-seven, sir," was the reply.
"Soldier," said the colonel, "don't you know you
never say 'oh' in the artillery? You say 'zero.'
What's your name, soldier?" "Zero Malley, sir,"
answered the private.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Seen on a Bumper Sticker:

You're driving a car. It isn't a telephone
booth, a beauty parlor or a restaurant.


<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I doubt there's any marriage where the
partners don't quarrel once in a while.
When my daughter was a teen, she greeted me
one morning with: "I understand you & Mom had
some words last nite."
I replied, "Well... I had some all ready,
but never got a chance to use them."

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

WORDS OF WISDOM
- Part of being sane, is being a little bit
crazy.
- Life is like a camel: you can make it
do anything except back up.
- She was only a whisky-maker, but he loved
her still.
- I know it's just a diet, but my body thinks
it's famine.
- Punctual people have nothing better to do.
- It's too bad that stupidity isn't painful.
- The best way to make a long story short is
to stop listening.
- I had plastic surgery last week. My wife
cut up my credit cards.
- A TV can insult your intelligence, but
nothing rubs it in like a computer.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

JEST FOR THE PUN OF IT
Making puns about cars can drive people Carzy.
It seems you never exhaust the number available
about cars. The number seems to be manifold. At
times, so many will come to your mind that you
can't a Ford to remain neutral in sharing them.
In fact, it can become a regular pastime in which
you can produce puns of premium quality.
Once your mind is in gear, you can't stop
or reverse the trend. Your thoughts just keep
accelerating. Suddenly, you're enGulfed with puns.
Your mind shifts from its normal thinking and
begins pumping away, wheeling and dealing puns.
Some people will try to muffle you. Others
will grille you more. Soon the transmission of
puns becomes automatic. It becomes a standard part
of your life. It won't be long until you have
people who will be your fans and won't let you
Dodge their requests for puns no matter how Mobil
you are. They'll clutch at every word you say.
People may say it takes engine-uity to do
puns, but soon you get tired of it. After a while
you want to take a brake from it before you
run out of gas.
Hood ever believe you'd get such mileage
from puns about cars? You could have fueled me!





------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~-->
Make a clean sweep of pop-up ads. Yahoo! Companion Toolbar.
Now with Pop-Up Blocker. Get it for free!
http://us.click.yahoo.com/L5YrjA/eSIIAA/yQLSAA/ZkgolB/TM
--------------------------------------------------------------------~->

Humor Sites

********************************************

If you got this from someone else subscribe at:
Arizona Humor
or send an email to:
arizona_humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com


Silly Stories
Famous Quotes

Famous Quotes

Funny Quotes


Love Quotes

Yahoo! Groups Links

<*> To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/arizona_humor/

<*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
arizona_humor-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

<*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to:
http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/