[arizona_humor] Resume?

These are some (allegedly) real-life examples of what NOT
to put on a resume.

=> "Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."
=> "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest
chain store."
=> "My intensity and focus are at inordinately high
levels, and my ability to complete projects on time is
unspeakable."
=> "Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer
science, curses in accounting."
=> "Personal: Married, 1992 Chevrolet."
=> "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a
horse."
=> "I am a rabid typist."
=> "Exposure to German for two years, but many words are
not appropriate for business."
=> "Personal interests: Donating blood. 15 gallons so far."
=> "I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely
nothing and absolutely no one."
=> "References: None, I've left a path of destruction
behind me."
=> "Don't take the comments of my former employer too
seriously, they were unappreciative beggars and slave
drivers."
=> "My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess
no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock
brokerage."
=> "I procrastinate - especially when the task is
unpleasant."
=> "I am loyal to my employer at all costs. Please feel
free to respond to my resume on my office voice-mail."
=> "Qualifications: No education or experience."
=> "Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."
=> Extensive background in accounting. I can also stand on
my head!"

Thelly, the Storylady, Cardiff by the Sea
For a virtual visit go to http://www.lifestorywriting.net/
Join the fun at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/lifestory/
For Quiet Moments http://www.gospelcom.net/rbc/odb/odb.shtml
Seeking? http://www.reasons4faith.org/
Troubled with? http://www.troubledwith.com




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]




------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~-->
Yahoo! Domains - Claim yours for only $14.70
http://us.click.yahoo.com/Z1wmxD/DREIAA/yQLSAA/ZkgolB/TM
--------------------------------------------------------------------~->

Humor Sites

********************************************

If you got this from someone else subscribe at:
Arizona Humor
or send an email to:
arizona_humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com


Silly Stories
Famous Quotes

Famous Quotes

Funny Quotes


Love Quotes

Yahoo! Groups Links

<*> To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/arizona_humor/

<*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
arizona_humor-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

<*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to:
http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/