Dear Tide:

I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all
through my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best.
Now that I am in my fifties, I find it even better! In fact, about a month
ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate
and uncaring husband started to berate me about how clumsy I was,
and generally started becoming a pain in the neck.

One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with a lot of his
blood on my white blouse. I tried to get the stain out using a bargain
detergent, but it just wouldn't come out. After a quick trip to the
supermarket, I purchased a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach
alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains
came out!

In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by
yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative.
Then my attorney called and said that I would no longer be
considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.

What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough
without being a murder suspect!

I thank you, once again, for having such a great product.
Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people.