arizona humor Arizona
Arizona
May 30th: Just moved to Arizona. Now this is a state that knows how to
live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! It is
beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
June 14th: Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an
air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see
the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.
June 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of
cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me.
Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
July 10th: The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people
get used to this kind of heat? At least its kind of windy though. But getting
used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.
July 15th: Fell asleep by the community pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over
60% of my body). Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my
lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
July 20th: I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left
this morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had died and
swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the upholstery. The car now
smells like Kibbles and shits. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in
this heat.
July 25th: The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!!
And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC
repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.
July 30th: Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now. $225,000
house and I can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
Aug. 4th: It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today.
It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate this stupid state.
Aug. 8th: If another wise ass cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm
going to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the radiator is
boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
Aug. 9th: Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when I
sat on the seats in the car, I thought my ass was on fire. I lost 2 layers of
flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass. Now my car smells like
burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.
Aug 10th: The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and
sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do shit for
2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.
Doesn't it ever rain in this damn desert? Water rationing will be next, so my
$1700 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over. Even the cactus can't
live in this damn heat.
Aug. 14th: Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 115 today. Forgot to crack
the window and blew the damn windshield out of the car.
The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?"My
sister had to spend $1500 to bail me out of jail. Freaking Arizona. What kind of a
sick demented idiot would want to live here?? Will write later to let you
know how the trial goes."
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May 30th: Just moved to Arizona. Now this is a state that knows how to
live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! It is
beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
June 14th: Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an
air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see
the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshipper.
June 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of
cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me.
Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
July 10th: The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people
get used to this kind of heat? At least its kind of windy though. But getting
used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.
July 15th: Fell asleep by the community pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over
60% of my body). Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my
lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
July 20th: I missed Lomita (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left
this morning. By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Lomita had died and
swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the upholstery. The car now
smells like Kibbles and shits. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in
this heat.
July 25th: The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!!
And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC
repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.
July 30th: Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now. $225,000
house and I can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
Aug. 4th: It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today.
It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate this stupid state.
Aug. 8th: If another wise ass cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm
going to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the radiator is
boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
Aug. 9th: Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when I
sat on the seats in the car, I thought my ass was on fire. I lost 2 layers of
flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass. Now my car smells like
burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.
Aug 10th: The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and
sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do shit for
2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.
Doesn't it ever rain in this damn desert? Water rationing will be next, so my
$1700 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over. Even the cactus can't
live in this damn heat.
Aug. 14th: Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 115 today. Forgot to crack
the window and blew the damn windshield out of the car.
The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?"My
sister had to spend $1500 to bail me out of jail. Freaking Arizona. What kind of a
sick demented idiot would want to live here?? Will write later to let you
know how the trial goes."
http://members.cox.net/katheesue/help-make-blogs-more-visible-code.html
Help Make Blogs More Visible! Latest Code
http://www.science-fairs.com/
Science Fairs
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/chickenrecipe/
Chicken Recipes
------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~-->
Make a clean sweep of pop-up ads. Yahoo! Companion Toolbar.
Now with Pop-Up Blocker. Get it for free!
http://us.click.yahoo.com/L5YrjA/eSIIAA/yQLSAA/ZkgolB/TM
--------------------------------------------------------------------~->
Jokes and Humor
********************************************
Life Story Writing
Famous Quotes
Famous Quotes
Famous Quotes
Funny Quotes
Love Quotes
Famous Recipes
If you got this from someone else subscribe at:
Arizona Humor
or send an email to:
arizona_humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Yahoo! Groups Links
<*> To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/arizona_humor/
<*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
arizona_humor-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
<*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to:
http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
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