arizona humor Kids Puns of the Weak 08-24-04
KIDS PUNS OF THE WEAK for the week ending 08-24-04
JEST FOR KIDS * THE RIDDLES
How do you drive a baby buggy?
Tickle the bottom of his feet (Rita, 8)
What did the apple say to the apple pie?
"You've got some crust." (Kristen, 7)
What did the big toe say to the little toe?
"There's a big heel following us." (Janice, 6)
Why did the dentist appear to be very unhappy
Because he looked down in the mouth (Stan Kegel)
What does the dentist of the year get?
A little plaque. (Ginny)
Where are you most likely to get a flat tire?
When there is a fork in the road. (Ross, 9)
What did the snake say to his girlfriend after they argued?
âC'mon, let's hiss and make up.â (Daily Groaner)
How can you tell if a tree is a dogwood tree?
By its bark! (Breonna, 10)
Why was the little horse unhappy?
Because every time it wanted something, its mother would say, "Neigh."
(Archives)
Why did Zorro engage in so many sword fights?
He was leading a double life (Annette, 12)
What did they give the pupil who completed his punishment?
A clean slate. (Jumble: Arnold & Argirlon)
What do elves eat?
Shortbread (Nivedha, 10)
What type of food keeps a dog quiet?
A hush puppy. (Lederer & Ertner)
Where do bees go after they get married?
On their honey-moon (Daily Groaner)
What has forty feet and sings?
The school choir! (Adam, 12)
What did the beaver say to the tree?
"It's been nice gnawing you." (Archives)
Why did the little moron ask her father to sit in the refrigerator?
She wanted ice cold pop. (Bill Edwards)
What do you call it when a group of owls get together to play banjos
and guitars?
A Hootenanny (Betty Debnam: Mighty Funnies)
What game do mother hens play with their chicks?
Peck-a âboo (Danielle, 11)
What did Neptune say to Saturn?
Give me a ring sometime! (Daily Groaner)
Why did the tomato blush?
It saw the salad dressing (Deanna, 12)
How can you prove that a horse has six legs?
A horse has forelegs in front and two behind. (Archives)
Why Are Fire Trucks Red?
Everyone knows that fire engines have 4 wheels and 8 men. 4 and 8 make
12. There are twelve inches in a foot. A foot is a ruler. Queen
Elizabeth, a ruler, is the name of one of the largest ships on the
seas. Seas have fish and fish have fins. The Finns fought the Russians
and Russians are red . . . and fire trucks are always rushin'
therefore, fire trucks are red! (GMNI Rising)
If you want to learn how to fight, what book should you read?
A scrapbook. (Rocky, 10)
Why did the little girl eat bullets?
She wanted her hair to grow in bangs. (Constance, 8)
Why did the little moron move to the city?
Because he heard the country might go to war. (Bill Edwards)
What did the burglar give his wife for her birthday?
A stole. (Art, 11)
Why did the little moron cut a hole in the rug?
So he could see the floor show. (Bill Edwards)
What happened to the fighter at the shopping center?
He was malled (Mike Benny)
Why are Egyptian children good children?
Because they respect their mummies. (Jeremy. 8)
What kind of kitten works for the Red Cross?
A first-aid kit. (Archives)
JEST FOR KIDS * THE PUNS
I wanted to buy goose feathers to make a pillow but I didnât have
enough money for the down payment. (Stan Kegel)
When the police chief announced his crime crackdown, his remarks were
arresting. (Jumble: Arnold & Argirlon)
A scientist was doing a large experiment with liquid chemicals trying
to prove his theorem when he fell into the vat and became part of the
solution. (Mike Bull)
Some students concentrate lesson history and moron themselves. (Pun of
the Day)
Once some robbers broke out in the bank, one of them pointing the gun
to the cashier said, "Give me all your money, or you'll be geography!"
The cashier laughed and said, "You mean to say 'history.'" The robber
answered, "Don't change the subject." (Bob Levi)
A lawyer using a Xerox machine must be sure to get his fax straight
(Mike Bull)
Before the cement truck arrives, you need a concrete plan. (Jumble:
Arnold & Argirlon)
The first-grader was talking about the recent fire in his school. "I
knew it was going to happen," he said. "We had been practicing for it
all year." (Beckie Skiles)
It's true that the earth rotates, but scientists are always putting
their own spin on it. (Pun of the Day)
I used to talk to the birds, but I gave it up. I got tired of listening
to their fowl language. (Johnny)
A lawyer held a huge briefcase in his hand during the enire trial, but
finally he rested his case. (Pun of the Day)
People who like gold paint have a gilt complex. (Mike Bull)
If an amateur musician attempts to perform a difficult violin piece, Is
that not bowed well? (Gary Hallock)
Nina called in a repairman to fix her electric clock. He examined it
and told her, "There's nothing wrong with the clock. You didn't have it
plugged in." She replied, "I didn't want to waste electricity, so I
only plug it in when I want to know what time it is." (Carol's Humor)
His girlfriend wanted him to slow down the car, but he put his foot
down. (Mike Bull)
Why did the little moron keep running around her bed?
He was trying to catch up with his sleep. (Bill Edwards)
Students who accent their textbooks with color markers add a real
highlight to their day (Pun of the Day)
Old race car drivers never die, they just write their auto biography.
(Mike Bull)
There was an editor who put in a good word for a new reporter. (Pun of
the Day)
Lightning storms can be very striking. (Pun of the Day)
PUNS IN THE COMICS
You can fool all the people all the time. Write a diet book. (Graffiti:
Gene Mora)
Boy reading a dictionary to another, âItâs a cordless spell checker!â
(Frank & Ernest: Bob Thaves)
Divorced men are hus-beens. (Graffiti: Gene Mora)
Patient: âTell it to me straight, Doc. Am I going to die?â Doctor:
Larry, thatâs the last thing youâre going to doâ (Flo & Friends: Gibel
& Campbell)
The low-carb diet is all about waist disposal (Graffiti: Gene Mora)
âWe just installed these new outdoor speakers that look like granite
boulders.â âIâll bet theyâre great for playing rock music!â (Nancy: G &
B Gachrist)
Some bathers need to be licensed to wear a bikini (Graffiti: Gene Mora)
âIâm starving. How long will dinner be?â âHow should I know. I just
cook it. I donât measure it.â (Baldo: Cantu & Castellanos)
To err is Human. To blame it on others is politics. (Graffiti: Gene
Mora)
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********************************************
Life Story Writing
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Famous Quotes
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JEST FOR KIDS * THE RIDDLES
How do you drive a baby buggy?
Tickle the bottom of his feet (Rita, 8)
What did the apple say to the apple pie?
"You've got some crust." (Kristen, 7)
What did the big toe say to the little toe?
"There's a big heel following us." (Janice, 6)
Why did the dentist appear to be very unhappy
Because he looked down in the mouth (Stan Kegel)
What does the dentist of the year get?
A little plaque. (Ginny)
Where are you most likely to get a flat tire?
When there is a fork in the road. (Ross, 9)
What did the snake say to his girlfriend after they argued?
âC'mon, let's hiss and make up.â (Daily Groaner)
How can you tell if a tree is a dogwood tree?
By its bark! (Breonna, 10)
Why was the little horse unhappy?
Because every time it wanted something, its mother would say, "Neigh."
(Archives)
Why did Zorro engage in so many sword fights?
He was leading a double life (Annette, 12)
What did they give the pupil who completed his punishment?
A clean slate. (Jumble: Arnold & Argirlon)
What do elves eat?
Shortbread (Nivedha, 10)
What type of food keeps a dog quiet?
A hush puppy. (Lederer & Ertner)
Where do bees go after they get married?
On their honey-moon (Daily Groaner)
What has forty feet and sings?
The school choir! (Adam, 12)
What did the beaver say to the tree?
"It's been nice gnawing you." (Archives)
Why did the little moron ask her father to sit in the refrigerator?
She wanted ice cold pop. (Bill Edwards)
What do you call it when a group of owls get together to play banjos
and guitars?
A Hootenanny (Betty Debnam: Mighty Funnies)
What game do mother hens play with their chicks?
Peck-a âboo (Danielle, 11)
What did Neptune say to Saturn?
Give me a ring sometime! (Daily Groaner)
Why did the tomato blush?
It saw the salad dressing (Deanna, 12)
How can you prove that a horse has six legs?
A horse has forelegs in front and two behind. (Archives)
Why Are Fire Trucks Red?
Everyone knows that fire engines have 4 wheels and 8 men. 4 and 8 make
12. There are twelve inches in a foot. A foot is a ruler. Queen
Elizabeth, a ruler, is the name of one of the largest ships on the
seas. Seas have fish and fish have fins. The Finns fought the Russians
and Russians are red . . . and fire trucks are always rushin'
therefore, fire trucks are red! (GMNI Rising)
If you want to learn how to fight, what book should you read?
A scrapbook. (Rocky, 10)
Why did the little girl eat bullets?
She wanted her hair to grow in bangs. (Constance, 8)
Why did the little moron move to the city?
Because he heard the country might go to war. (Bill Edwards)
What did the burglar give his wife for her birthday?
A stole. (Art, 11)
Why did the little moron cut a hole in the rug?
So he could see the floor show. (Bill Edwards)
What happened to the fighter at the shopping center?
He was malled (Mike Benny)
Why are Egyptian children good children?
Because they respect their mummies. (Jeremy. 8)
What kind of kitten works for the Red Cross?
A first-aid kit. (Archives)
JEST FOR KIDS * THE PUNS
I wanted to buy goose feathers to make a pillow but I didnât have
enough money for the down payment. (Stan Kegel)
When the police chief announced his crime crackdown, his remarks were
arresting. (Jumble: Arnold & Argirlon)
A scientist was doing a large experiment with liquid chemicals trying
to prove his theorem when he fell into the vat and became part of the
solution. (Mike Bull)
Some students concentrate lesson history and moron themselves. (Pun of
the Day)
Once some robbers broke out in the bank, one of them pointing the gun
to the cashier said, "Give me all your money, or you'll be geography!"
The cashier laughed and said, "You mean to say 'history.'" The robber
answered, "Don't change the subject." (Bob Levi)
A lawyer using a Xerox machine must be sure to get his fax straight
(Mike Bull)
Before the cement truck arrives, you need a concrete plan. (Jumble:
Arnold & Argirlon)
The first-grader was talking about the recent fire in his school. "I
knew it was going to happen," he said. "We had been practicing for it
all year." (Beckie Skiles)
It's true that the earth rotates, but scientists are always putting
their own spin on it. (Pun of the Day)
I used to talk to the birds, but I gave it up. I got tired of listening
to their fowl language. (Johnny)
A lawyer held a huge briefcase in his hand during the enire trial, but
finally he rested his case. (Pun of the Day)
People who like gold paint have a gilt complex. (Mike Bull)
If an amateur musician attempts to perform a difficult violin piece, Is
that not bowed well? (Gary Hallock)
Nina called in a repairman to fix her electric clock. He examined it
and told her, "There's nothing wrong with the clock. You didn't have it
plugged in." She replied, "I didn't want to waste electricity, so I
only plug it in when I want to know what time it is." (Carol's Humor)
His girlfriend wanted him to slow down the car, but he put his foot
down. (Mike Bull)
Why did the little moron keep running around her bed?
He was trying to catch up with his sleep. (Bill Edwards)
Students who accent their textbooks with color markers add a real
highlight to their day (Pun of the Day)
Old race car drivers never die, they just write their auto biography.
(Mike Bull)
There was an editor who put in a good word for a new reporter. (Pun of
the Day)
Lightning storms can be very striking. (Pun of the Day)
PUNS IN THE COMICS
You can fool all the people all the time. Write a diet book. (Graffiti:
Gene Mora)
Boy reading a dictionary to another, âItâs a cordless spell checker!â
(Frank & Ernest: Bob Thaves)
Divorced men are hus-beens. (Graffiti: Gene Mora)
Patient: âTell it to me straight, Doc. Am I going to die?â Doctor:
Larry, thatâs the last thing youâre going to doâ (Flo & Friends: Gibel
& Campbell)
The low-carb diet is all about waist disposal (Graffiti: Gene Mora)
âWe just installed these new outdoor speakers that look like granite
boulders.â âIâll bet theyâre great for playing rock music!â (Nancy: G &
B Gachrist)
Some bathers need to be licensed to wear a bikini (Graffiti: Gene Mora)
âIâm starving. How long will dinner be?â âHow should I know. I just
cook it. I donât measure it.â (Baldo: Cantu & Castellanos)
To err is Human. To blame it on others is politics. (Graffiti: Gene
Mora)
Latest Hoax
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/virushoaxbusters/message/2236
------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~-->
Make a clean sweep of pop-up ads. Yahoo! Companion Toolbar.
Now with Pop-Up Blocker. Get it for free!
http://us.click.yahoo.com/L5YrjA/eSIIAA/yQLSAA/ZkgolB/TM
--------------------------------------------------------------------~->
Jokes and Humor
********************************************
Life Story Writing
Famous Quotes
Famous Quotes
Famous Quotes
Funny Quotes
Love Quotes
Famous Recipes
If you got this from someone else subscribe at:
Arizona Humor
or send an email to:
arizona_humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Yahoo! Groups Links
<*> To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/arizona_humor/
<*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
arizona_humor-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
<*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to:
http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
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