arizona humor The New Boss

Jokes from Joanna

The New Boss

A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new Boss. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers...

On a tour of the facilities, the Boss notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he thinks this is his chance to show everyone he means business!

The Boss walks up the guy and asks, "And how much money do you make a week?"

Unflinching, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I make $200.00 a week. Why?"

The Boss then hands the guy $200 in cash and screams, "Here's a week's pay; now GET OUT and don't come back!"

Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the Boss looks around the room and asks, "Does anyone want to tell me what that slacker did here?"

Just then the foreman comes into the room with his wallet in his hand. He looks around and says, "Hey! What happened to the pizza delivery guy?"

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Grandpa Jensen was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared.

"Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success," he cackled. "I have been in the open air day after day for some 75 years now."

The gents were impressed and asked how he managed to keep up his rigorous fitness regime.

"Well, you see my dear wife and I were married 75 years ago. On our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge. Whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go outside and take a walk."

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"Keep your eyes wide open before marriage...
half shut afterwards."

~ Benjamin Franklin

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"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'"

~ Tommy Cooper

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