[arizona_humor] Kids Puns of the Weak 08-03-04
KIDS PUNS OF THE WEAK for the week ending 08-03-04
JEST FOR KIDS * THE RIDDLES
Where do frogs change?
In a croak-room! (Sherlyn, 11)
How cou can tell if a male creature supports the Star Wars alliance
By the way EWOKs (Douglas Helsel)
What illness did everyone on the Starship Enterprise catch?
Chicken spocks! (Lauren, 10)
Why don't grasshoppers go to baseball games?
They prefer cricket! (Daily Groaner)
What do you call six stones with electric guitars?
A rock group `(Joseph Rosenbloom)
Why did the polar bear go to the South Pole?
To visit Aunt Artica! (Alyssa, 7)
What should a waiter do if a customer finds a twig in his soup?
Call the branch manager (Betty Debnam: Mighty Funnies)
Where do smart butters go?
On the honor roll! (Daily Groaner)
What type of cat has eight legs and loves swimming?
An Octo-Puss (Bruce A. G. Calder)
How many people live in Rio?
At least a Brazilian. (David Mercer)
What did the Dalmatian say when he tasted his favorite doggie treat?
âThis hits the spot!â (Remy, 10)
What happened to the mime who went shopping?
He only bought unmentionables. (Daily Groaner)
What kind of turtles are the grouchiest?
Snapping turtles (Alina, 8)
How did your pet skunk fare post-surgery?
Decent. (Bob Dvorak)
What do you get when you cross a dog, a bird, and a car?
A flying car-pet (Jeremiah, 9)
How can you get a frog off the back window of your car?
Turn on the rear defrogger (Betty Debnam: Mighty Funnies)
How do you know a dinosaur is under your bed?
Your bed is touching the ceiling (Sydney, 9)
How do you fix a broken pizza?
Tomato paste! (Briane,10)
What did the vampire say after he finished reading the mystery?
Itâs time to close the case. (Dionnae, 12)
What do pirates from India call their flag?
The Jolly Raja (Daily Groaner)
Did you hear about the guy who stole the judge's calendar?
He got twelve months. (Mike Benny)
What dog can tell the time?
A watch dog! (Kid's Jokes)
How do you get an astronaut baby to sleep?
Rocket (Aaron, 10)
What do you call a man standing in a hole?
Doug. (Jason Dias)
Where do hamburgers go to dance?
To a meatball (Shyanne, 7)
Why are frogs so happy?
They get to eat what bugs them (Breanna, 8)
Why did the turtle hurry to cross the road?
To get to the shell station (Betty Debnam: Mighty Funnies)
What kind of hair do oceans have?
Wavy! (Trey, 10)
What do you do when you find a dead matador?
Always questionable. (Alan B. Combs)
Which animals are on legal documents?
Seals! (Louis, 7)
How did the chimpanzee escape from his cage?
He used a monkey wrench. (Daily Groaner)
Did you work in an underwear shop?
Briefly (Frank Stewart)
Why did the fool ask her friends to save their burned-out light bulbs?
She needed them for the darkroom she was building (Lorraine A. Bellis)
Why don't grasshoppers go to baseball games?
They prefer cricket! (Daily Groaner)
âWhy didnât the light bulb shineâ
It wasnât feeling very bright (Flor, 11)
Why did the fool climb up to the roof of the bar?
He heard that the drinks were on the house (Marty Lee)
Did you manage a towel factory?
For a while, until it folded (Frank Stewart)
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost! (Lily, 10)
What do whales like to chew?
Blubber gum (Betty Debnam: Mighty Funnies)
What does a jellyfish have on its tummy?
A jelly button! (George, 15)
JEST FOR KIDS * THE PUNS
My mother is so fussy that last night at 2 A. M. I went to the kitchen
to get a glass of water and when I got back my bed was made.
`(Joseph Rosenbloom)
Before writing his final version of a story, an author has to have a
pre-text (Pun of the Day)
"I wish i had enough money to buy a pedigree cat" "Why do you want a
pedigree cat?" "I don't - I just wish I had that much money" (Bruce A.
G. Calder)
Whoever named it "Necking" was ignorant of anatomy. (Fifth Over Sexteen)
A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter. (Tony Thoennes)
Underwear models are debriefed (Douglas Helsel)
He had a soft drink while catching up on the ironing. It was soda
pressing. (Pun of the Day)
Writers see their publishers through authorize (Mike Bull)
The one who invented the door knocker got a No-bell prize. (Pun of the
Day)
Old burglars never die, they just steal away. (Tony Thoennes)
Is Lenin's tomb a communist plot? (Phen)
There no mimes on stamps because a mime is a terrible thing to paste.
(Venky)
Have you heard of the train company that went off the rails? (Joan
DeGrave)
Butterfly collectors are debugged. (Douglas Helsel)
I know a man who put all his money in just two stocks, a paper-towel
company and a revolving-door outfit. He was wiped out before he could
turn around." (Dave Astor)
Some people get married only for the matri-money( Pun of the Day)
A career choice for kids who just like to sit around and make faces
would be a watchmaker. (Pun of the Day)
Alpine climbers are dismounted. (Douglas Helsel)
Nylons give women a run for their money. (Mike Bull)
The twisted old piece of string couldn't really be surprised at his
fate, really, after all the puns he had perpetrated: "No, I'm a frayed
knot," "I'm a little tied-up at the moment," "Get knotted," "That
wasn't a belly-flop, it was knot's landing," and now, having been
lynched by the other residents of the sewing kit for his verbal
miscreations, he couldn't help but chuckle as he thought aloud, "I'm
not a bad person, just a little high-strung." (Jason Dias)
Weaving cars mean looming accidents. (Tony Thoennes)
Ancient Egyptians slept on pillows made of stone. That's actually what
caused many of their deaths ... pillow fights." (Gail S. Angel)
When two trucks carrying soft drinks collided, there was a pepsi-dent?
(Pun of the Day)
Musicians in a stormy sea experienced ârock and rollâ! (Jumble: Arnold
& Argirlon)
Students are degraded. (Douglas Helsel)
Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change
back into a sun in the daytime. (Tim Davis)
A waiter who played tennis was great at serving. He was also good at
multiplication, because he knew his tables. He was experienced so he
gave a lot of good tips. When he splilled a drink on his shirt, he
said, "this one is on me." (Mike Bull)
A dog not only has a fur coat but also has pants. (Zach Stavis)
He couldn't remember the pill's name but it was on the tip of his
tongue. (Pun of the Day)
Late one night at the insane asylum, one inmate shouted, "I am
Napoleon!" Another patient asked, "How do you know?" The first inmate
said, "Because God told me!" Just then, a voice from another room
shouted, "I did NOT!" (Gail S. Angel)
Did you hear about the class that was broken up into smaller units. It
was disintergrated. (James Ertner )
Replacing his .45's in their holsters, he sauntered off to the nearest
saloon for another belt (Bob Dvorak)
When he bought a large-screen TV, the big thinker focused on the âBig
Pictureâ. (Jumble: Arnold & Argirlon)
PUNS IN THE COMICS
Sometimes kindness goes a long way when it should stay home. (Graffiti:
Gene Mora)
Itâs not how much dough you have, itâs where you knead to spread it.plg
(Pluggers: Gary Brookins)
To some, a second marriage is a new leash on life. (Graffiti: Gene
Mora)
âAre you reading yet another book about the civil War?â âYup, Itâs
amazing how many of historic battle were fought in National Parks.â
(Shoe: Cassett & Brookins)
âKnock, Knock, Grandma.â âOh, all right. Whose there, Treggie?â
âWanda!â âWanda who?â âWanda lend me 60 bucks for the rock concert?â
âWanda get real, Treggie.â (Flo & Friends: Gibel & Campbell)
âThereâs a type of onion that takes years to mature but reaches
tremendous size.â âA slow leek!â (Frank & Ernest: Bob Thaves)
Man being arrested: âYes, officer. I have been drinking all night. But
I donât understand, if I am âlegally drunkâ, why am I being arrested?â
(Mike Donovan)
Young podiatrists try not to start on the wrong foot. (Graffiti: Gene
Mora)
Diets are from hunger (Graffiti: Gene Mora)
âThe only thing that has come up in my garden is the rake when I
stepped on it!â (Frank & Ernest: Bob Thaves)
A diplomat rubs people the right way. (Graffiti: Gene Mora)
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JEST FOR KIDS * THE RIDDLES
Where do frogs change?
In a croak-room! (Sherlyn, 11)
How cou can tell if a male creature supports the Star Wars alliance
By the way EWOKs (Douglas Helsel)
What illness did everyone on the Starship Enterprise catch?
Chicken spocks! (Lauren, 10)
Why don't grasshoppers go to baseball games?
They prefer cricket! (Daily Groaner)
What do you call six stones with electric guitars?
A rock group `(Joseph Rosenbloom)
Why did the polar bear go to the South Pole?
To visit Aunt Artica! (Alyssa, 7)
What should a waiter do if a customer finds a twig in his soup?
Call the branch manager (Betty Debnam: Mighty Funnies)
Where do smart butters go?
On the honor roll! (Daily Groaner)
What type of cat has eight legs and loves swimming?
An Octo-Puss (Bruce A. G. Calder)
How many people live in Rio?
At least a Brazilian. (David Mercer)
What did the Dalmatian say when he tasted his favorite doggie treat?
âThis hits the spot!â (Remy, 10)
What happened to the mime who went shopping?
He only bought unmentionables. (Daily Groaner)
What kind of turtles are the grouchiest?
Snapping turtles (Alina, 8)
How did your pet skunk fare post-surgery?
Decent. (Bob Dvorak)
What do you get when you cross a dog, a bird, and a car?
A flying car-pet (Jeremiah, 9)
How can you get a frog off the back window of your car?
Turn on the rear defrogger (Betty Debnam: Mighty Funnies)
How do you know a dinosaur is under your bed?
Your bed is touching the ceiling (Sydney, 9)
How do you fix a broken pizza?
Tomato paste! (Briane,10)
What did the vampire say after he finished reading the mystery?
Itâs time to close the case. (Dionnae, 12)
What do pirates from India call their flag?
The Jolly Raja (Daily Groaner)
Did you hear about the guy who stole the judge's calendar?
He got twelve months. (Mike Benny)
What dog can tell the time?
A watch dog! (Kid's Jokes)
How do you get an astronaut baby to sleep?
Rocket (Aaron, 10)
What do you call a man standing in a hole?
Doug. (Jason Dias)
Where do hamburgers go to dance?
To a meatball (Shyanne, 7)
Why are frogs so happy?
They get to eat what bugs them (Breanna, 8)
Why did the turtle hurry to cross the road?
To get to the shell station (Betty Debnam: Mighty Funnies)
What kind of hair do oceans have?
Wavy! (Trey, 10)
What do you do when you find a dead matador?
Always questionable. (Alan B. Combs)
Which animals are on legal documents?
Seals! (Louis, 7)
How did the chimpanzee escape from his cage?
He used a monkey wrench. (Daily Groaner)
Did you work in an underwear shop?
Briefly (Frank Stewart)
Why did the fool ask her friends to save their burned-out light bulbs?
She needed them for the darkroom she was building (Lorraine A. Bellis)
Why don't grasshoppers go to baseball games?
They prefer cricket! (Daily Groaner)
âWhy didnât the light bulb shineâ
It wasnât feeling very bright (Flor, 11)
Why did the fool climb up to the roof of the bar?
He heard that the drinks were on the house (Marty Lee)
Did you manage a towel factory?
For a while, until it folded (Frank Stewart)
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost! (Lily, 10)
What do whales like to chew?
Blubber gum (Betty Debnam: Mighty Funnies)
What does a jellyfish have on its tummy?
A jelly button! (George, 15)
JEST FOR KIDS * THE PUNS
My mother is so fussy that last night at 2 A. M. I went to the kitchen
to get a glass of water and when I got back my bed was made.
`(Joseph Rosenbloom)
Before writing his final version of a story, an author has to have a
pre-text (Pun of the Day)
"I wish i had enough money to buy a pedigree cat" "Why do you want a
pedigree cat?" "I don't - I just wish I had that much money" (Bruce A.
G. Calder)
Whoever named it "Necking" was ignorant of anatomy. (Fifth Over Sexteen)
A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter. (Tony Thoennes)
Underwear models are debriefed (Douglas Helsel)
He had a soft drink while catching up on the ironing. It was soda
pressing. (Pun of the Day)
Writers see their publishers through authorize (Mike Bull)
The one who invented the door knocker got a No-bell prize. (Pun of the
Day)
Old burglars never die, they just steal away. (Tony Thoennes)
Is Lenin's tomb a communist plot? (Phen)
There no mimes on stamps because a mime is a terrible thing to paste.
(Venky)
Have you heard of the train company that went off the rails? (Joan
DeGrave)
Butterfly collectors are debugged. (Douglas Helsel)
I know a man who put all his money in just two stocks, a paper-towel
company and a revolving-door outfit. He was wiped out before he could
turn around." (Dave Astor)
Some people get married only for the matri-money( Pun of the Day)
A career choice for kids who just like to sit around and make faces
would be a watchmaker. (Pun of the Day)
Alpine climbers are dismounted. (Douglas Helsel)
Nylons give women a run for their money. (Mike Bull)
The twisted old piece of string couldn't really be surprised at his
fate, really, after all the puns he had perpetrated: "No, I'm a frayed
knot," "I'm a little tied-up at the moment," "Get knotted," "That
wasn't a belly-flop, it was knot's landing," and now, having been
lynched by the other residents of the sewing kit for his verbal
miscreations, he couldn't help but chuckle as he thought aloud, "I'm
not a bad person, just a little high-strung." (Jason Dias)
Weaving cars mean looming accidents. (Tony Thoennes)
Ancient Egyptians slept on pillows made of stone. That's actually what
caused many of their deaths ... pillow fights." (Gail S. Angel)
When two trucks carrying soft drinks collided, there was a pepsi-dent?
(Pun of the Day)
Musicians in a stormy sea experienced ârock and rollâ! (Jumble: Arnold
& Argirlon)
Students are degraded. (Douglas Helsel)
Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change
back into a sun in the daytime. (Tim Davis)
A waiter who played tennis was great at serving. He was also good at
multiplication, because he knew his tables. He was experienced so he
gave a lot of good tips. When he splilled a drink on his shirt, he
said, "this one is on me." (Mike Bull)
A dog not only has a fur coat but also has pants. (Zach Stavis)
He couldn't remember the pill's name but it was on the tip of his
tongue. (Pun of the Day)
Late one night at the insane asylum, one inmate shouted, "I am
Napoleon!" Another patient asked, "How do you know?" The first inmate
said, "Because God told me!" Just then, a voice from another room
shouted, "I did NOT!" (Gail S. Angel)
Did you hear about the class that was broken up into smaller units. It
was disintergrated. (James Ertner )
Replacing his .45's in their holsters, he sauntered off to the nearest
saloon for another belt (Bob Dvorak)
When he bought a large-screen TV, the big thinker focused on the âBig
Pictureâ. (Jumble: Arnold & Argirlon)
PUNS IN THE COMICS
Sometimes kindness goes a long way when it should stay home. (Graffiti:
Gene Mora)
Itâs not how much dough you have, itâs where you knead to spread it.plg
(Pluggers: Gary Brookins)
To some, a second marriage is a new leash on life. (Graffiti: Gene
Mora)
âAre you reading yet another book about the civil War?â âYup, Itâs
amazing how many of historic battle were fought in National Parks.â
(Shoe: Cassett & Brookins)
âKnock, Knock, Grandma.â âOh, all right. Whose there, Treggie?â
âWanda!â âWanda who?â âWanda lend me 60 bucks for the rock concert?â
âWanda get real, Treggie.â (Flo & Friends: Gibel & Campbell)
âThereâs a type of onion that takes years to mature but reaches
tremendous size.â âA slow leek!â (Frank & Ernest: Bob Thaves)
Man being arrested: âYes, officer. I have been drinking all night. But
I donât understand, if I am âlegally drunkâ, why am I being arrested?â
(Mike Donovan)
Young podiatrists try not to start on the wrong foot. (Graffiti: Gene
Mora)
Diets are from hunger (Graffiti: Gene Mora)
âThe only thing that has come up in my garden is the rake when I
stepped on it!â (Frank & Ernest: Bob Thaves)
A diplomat rubs people the right way. (Graffiti: Gene Mora)
------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~-->
Make a clean sweep of pop-up ads. Yahoo! Companion Toolbar.
Now with Pop-Up Blocker. Get it for free!
http://us.click.yahoo.com/L5YrjA/eSIIAA/yQLSAA/ZkgolB/TM
--------------------------------------------------------------------~->
Humor Sites
********************************************
If you got this from someone else subscribe at:
Arizona Humor
or send an email to:
arizona_humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Silly Stories
Famous Quotes
Famous Quotes
Funny Quotes
Love Quotes
Yahoo! Groups Links
<*> To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/arizona_humor/
<*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
arizona_humor-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
<*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to:
http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
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