arizona humor One way to get your exercise.... (and other jokes)
One way to get your exercise....
An elderly Rabbi is walking down the street one
day when he notices a
very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a
house across the street.
However, the boy is very small and the doorbell
is too high for him to
reach.
After watching the boys efforts for some time,
the Rabbi moves closer to
the boy's position.
He steps smartly across the street, walks up
behind the little fellow
and, placing his hand kindly on the child's
shoulder leans over and
gives the doorbell a solid ring.
Crouching down to the child's level, the Rabbi
smiles benevolently and
asks, "And now what, my little man?"
To which the boy replies, "Now we run!"
**********************************************************************
Interview ....
A businessman was interviewing applicants for the
position of divisional
manager. He devised a simple test to select the
most suitable person for
the job. He asked each applicant the question,
"What is two and two?"
The first interviewee was a journalist. His
answer was "twenty-two."
The second applicant was an engineer. He pulled
out a calculator and
showed the answer to be between 3. 999 and 4.
001.
The next person was a lawyer. He stated that in
the case of Jenkins v.
Commr of Stamp Duties (Qld), two and two was
proven to be four.
The last applicant was an accountant. The
business man asked him, "How
much is two and two?" The accountant got up from
his chair, went over to
the door, closed it then came back and sat down.
He leaned across the
desk and said in a low voice, "How much do you
want it to be?"
He got the job.
**********************************************************************
Strength Vs. Age
A strong young man at the construction site was
bragging that he could
outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a
special case of making fun
of Morris, one of the older workmen. After
several minutes, Morris had
enough.
"Why don't you put your money where your mouth
is?" he said. "I will bet
a week's wages that I can haul something in a
wheelbarrow over to that
outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel
back."
"You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "It's
a bet! Let's see what
you got."
Morris reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by
the handles. Then,
nodding to the young man, he said, "All right.
Get in."
**********************************************************************
Out of the Mouths of Babes
A four-year-old was at the pediatrician for a
check up. As the doctor
looked in her ears and asked, "Do you think I'll
find Big Bird in here?"
The little girl stayed silent.
Next, the doctor took a tongue depressor and
looked down her throat. He
asked, "Do you think I'll find the Cookie Monster
down there?" Again,
the little girl was silent.
Then the doctor put a stethoscope to her chest.
As he listened to her
heart beat, he asked, "Do you think I'll hear
Barney in there?" "Oh,
no!" the little girl replied. "Jesus is in my
heart. Barney's on my
underpants."
**********************************************************************
JoannasJokes
making the world a better place,
a laugh at a time!
You are invited to join JoannasJokes for clean jokes,
trivia, little known facts, recipes and incidental information at:
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the fastest growing joke sites on the web!!!
P.S. Please forward this to all of your friends!!!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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********************************************
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An elderly Rabbi is walking down the street one
day when he notices a
very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a
house across the street.
However, the boy is very small and the doorbell
is too high for him to
reach.
After watching the boys efforts for some time,
the Rabbi moves closer to
the boy's position.
He steps smartly across the street, walks up
behind the little fellow
and, placing his hand kindly on the child's
shoulder leans over and
gives the doorbell a solid ring.
Crouching down to the child's level, the Rabbi
smiles benevolently and
asks, "And now what, my little man?"
To which the boy replies, "Now we run!"
**********************************************************************
Interview ....
A businessman was interviewing applicants for the
position of divisional
manager. He devised a simple test to select the
most suitable person for
the job. He asked each applicant the question,
"What is two and two?"
The first interviewee was a journalist. His
answer was "twenty-two."
The second applicant was an engineer. He pulled
out a calculator and
showed the answer to be between 3. 999 and 4.
001.
The next person was a lawyer. He stated that in
the case of Jenkins v.
Commr of Stamp Duties (Qld), two and two was
proven to be four.
The last applicant was an accountant. The
business man asked him, "How
much is two and two?" The accountant got up from
his chair, went over to
the door, closed it then came back and sat down.
He leaned across the
desk and said in a low voice, "How much do you
want it to be?"
He got the job.
**********************************************************************
Strength Vs. Age
A strong young man at the construction site was
bragging that he could
outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a
special case of making fun
of Morris, one of the older workmen. After
several minutes, Morris had
enough.
"Why don't you put your money where your mouth
is?" he said. "I will bet
a week's wages that I can haul something in a
wheelbarrow over to that
outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel
back."
"You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "It's
a bet! Let's see what
you got."
Morris reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by
the handles. Then,
nodding to the young man, he said, "All right.
Get in."
**********************************************************************
Out of the Mouths of Babes
A four-year-old was at the pediatrician for a
check up. As the doctor
looked in her ears and asked, "Do you think I'll
find Big Bird in here?"
The little girl stayed silent.
Next, the doctor took a tongue depressor and
looked down her throat. He
asked, "Do you think I'll find the Cookie Monster
down there?" Again,
the little girl was silent.
Then the doctor put a stethoscope to her chest.
As he listened to her
heart beat, he asked, "Do you think I'll hear
Barney in there?" "Oh,
no!" the little girl replied. "Jesus is in my
heart. Barney's on my
underpants."
**********************************************************************
JoannasJokes
making the world a better place,
a laugh at a time!
You are invited to join JoannasJokes for clean jokes,
trivia, little known facts, recipes and incidental information at:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/joannasjokes/join/ ... one of
the fastest growing joke sites on the web!!!
P.S. Please forward this to all of your friends!!!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~-->
$9.95 domain names from Yahoo!. Register anything.
http://us.click.yahoo.com/J8kdrA/y20IAA/yQLSAA/ZkgolB/TM
--------------------------------------------------------------------~->
Jokes and Humor
********************************************
Life Story Writing
Famous Quotes
Famous Quotes
Famous Quotes
Funny Quotes
Love Quotes
Famous Recipes
If you got this from someone else subscribe at:
Arizona Humor
or send an email to:
arizona_humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Yahoo! Groups Links
<*> To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/arizona_humor/
<*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
arizona_humor-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
<*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to:
http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
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