arizona humor IDIOTS of 2004

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the

poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she

caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the

ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into

the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to

mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill

the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency

room right away.





IDIOT! Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.





Number Two Idiot of 2004





Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a

life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of

the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river,

they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out

that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that

activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.






Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.





Number Three Idiot of 2004





A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of

America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your

muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the

teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might

call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank

of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few

minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it

and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light

in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because

it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either

have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.

Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a

few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.





Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.





Number Four Idiot of 2004





A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of

the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the

robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf

He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused

and said, because I don't believe you are over 21. " The robber said he was,

but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him.

At that point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and

gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was

in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from

the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the

name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested

the robber two hours later.





This guy definitely needs a sign!





Idiot Number Five of 2004





A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.

The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled

first bandit shot him.





This guy doesn't need a sign, he probably figured it out himself .







Idiot Number Six of 2004





Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just

throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run

So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window.

The cinder block bounced back and hit the would be thief on the head,

knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of

plexiglass. The whole event was caught on videotape. Oh, that smarts.





Give him his sign.





Idiot Number Seven of 2004





The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger

King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A. M., flashed a gun and demanded cash.

The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register

without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they

weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.





Sign please.





Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote, (and breed).
Yikes!


Now there is a better way to earn your degree.
Capella University is an online university that is revolutionizing what you expect from adult education. We offer richly rewarding programs that deliver measurable results—personally and professionally.
http://mocda1.com/1/c/689948/193454/366589/366589

AOL users go here





------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~-->
Make a clean sweep of pop-up ads. Yahoo! Companion Toolbar.
Now with Pop-Up Blocker. Get it for free!
http://us.click.yahoo.com/L5YrjA/eSIIAA/yQLSAA/ZkgolB/TM
--------------------------------------------------------------------~->

Jokes and Humor

********************************************

Life Story Writing
Famous Quotes

Famous Quotes

Famous Quotes

Funny Quotes

Love Quotes

Famous Recipes

If you got this from someone else subscribe at:
Arizona Humor
or send an email to:
arizona_humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

Yahoo! Groups Links

<*> To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/arizona_humor/

<*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
arizona_humor-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

<*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to:
http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/