arizona humor LITTLE JOHNNY'S AT IT AGAIN

Subject: LITTLE JOHNNY'S AT IT AGAIN


> A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She

started

> her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"

>

> After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you

> think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"

>

> No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

>

> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

> Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on

her

> face. "Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself

beautiful,"

> said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.

>

> "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"

>

> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

>

> A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned tha! ! t his

students

> might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas

> season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood

that

> the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So

he

> asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?"

>

> Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven."

>

> Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart."

>

> Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know!

> He's in our bathroom!!!"

>

> The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a

> response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long

seconds.

>

> Finally, he gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this.

>

> Little Johnny said, "Well...every morning, my father gets up, bangs on

the

> bathroom! ! door, and yells, "Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!"

>

> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

>

> The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in

class.

> She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"

>

> Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"

>

> ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

>

> At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything,

including

> human beings. Little Johnny, a child in the kindergarten class, seemed

> especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of

> Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as

though

> he were ill, and said, "Johnny what is the matter?" Little Johnny

> responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a

wife."

>

> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

>

> Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local

police

> station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of the 10

> most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and

asked

> if it really was the photo of a wanted person. "Yes," said the

policeman.

> "The detectives want very badly to capture him."

>

> Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his

picture?"





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