Funny Jokes

10.29.2004

arizona humor Several Cute Ones ...



A man complained to his neighbor at the bar, "Yesterday, I thought I'd
solved all my problems. I thought I'd found a way to forget my
mother-in-law. I went to the pub and got drunk."

"Did it work?"

"No, when I got home I found two of her waiting."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Teddy came thundering down the stairs, much to his father's annoyance.
"Teddy," he called, "how many more times have I got to tell
you to come downstairs quietly? Now, go back upstairs and come down
like a civilized human being."
There was a silence, and Teddy reappeared in the front room.
"That's better," said his father, "now in future will you
always come down stairs like that."
"Suits me," said Teddy. "I slid down the railing."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


Two men were finishing their work day and one said,
"I hate to go home! Every night I eat the same tasteless
food, wash the dishes, walk the dog, and then go to bed
alone."
His co-worker asked, "Why don't you find a nice girl
and get married?"
As the first man slammed his briefcase shut he replied,
"I AM married!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Once a blonde went to the library to get a book.
A few days later, she returns and says to librarian
at the counter, "This book was very boring. It had
too many characters and too many numbers, so I
would like to return it."
The librarian says to the other librarian, "So! You're
the person who took our phone book!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Science Sillies From 5th & 6th Graders
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits
on the top, and you sit on the bottom.

It is so hot in some places that people there have to live
in other places.

Momentum is something you give a person when they go away.

Mushrooms always grow in damp places which is why they look
like umbrellas.

The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana.

Thunder is a rich source of loudness.

Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun,
but I never have been able to make out the numbers.

When planets run around and around in circles, we say they
are orbiting. When people do it, we say they are crazy.

One of the main causes of dust is DIRT.

A monsoon is a French gentleman.

To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow.

Genetics explains why you look like your father, and if
you don't, why you should.

Water vapor gets together in a big cloud. When it gets big
enough to be called a drop, it does.

There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of
the Earth because so many people are stomping around there these
days.

The cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation
gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

You can listen to thunder and tell how close you came to
getting hit.

If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.

*******************************************************************


JoannasJokes
making the world a better place,
a laugh at a time!
You are invited to join JoannasJokes for clean jokes,
trivia, little known facts, recipes and incidental information at:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/joannasjokes/join/ ... one of
the fastest growing joke sites on the web!!!

P.S. Please forward this to all of your friends!!!


























[Non-text portions subscribe at:
Arizona Humor
or send an email to:
arizona_humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

Yahoo! Groups Links

<*> To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/arizona_humor/

<*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
arizona_humor-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

<*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to:
http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/




Famous Quotes Casserole Recipes Halloween Recipes Recipe

Christmas Funny Jokes Famous Quotes

arizona humor Religious Humor (Part II)



Every evening, a mother and her young son, knelt down beside his bed so he could say his prayers. One night, obviously bored with the same old prayer, the little boy said this: "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, if I should die before I wake......can I have breakfast with you in the morning?"
~~~~~

One day a boy and his grandparents came to visit the 150-year-old church, a national landmark, where I was working one summer. As they toured the church, the grandfather was explaining some of the features, and the boy listened attentively. Then they reached the confessional in the back.
"I know what this is!" the boy said excitedly, turning to his grandfather. "This is time out, isn't it?"

~~~~~

A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small child replied: "They couldn't get a baby-sitter."

~~~~~

A little girl from Minneapolis came home from Sunday School with a frown on her face. "I'm not going back there anymore," she announced with finality. "I don't like the Bible they keep teaching us."
"Why not?" asked her astonished mother.
"Because," said the little girl, "the Bible is always talking about St. Paul, and it never once mentions Minneapolis."

~~~~~

The pastor was talking to a group of young children about being good and going to heaven. At the end of his talk, he asked, "Where do you want to go?"
"Heaven!" Suzy cried out.
"And what do you have to be to get there?" asked the preacher.
"Six feet under!", yelled Little Johnny.

~~~~~

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

~~~~~

A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, he looked at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that has been pressed in between pages.
"Momma, look what I found," the boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.


With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered: "It's Adam's suit!!!"

~~~~~

A mother was teaching her three-year-old the Lord's prayer. For several evenings at bedtime she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer. "Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail, Amen."

~~~~~

To close each day's activities in summer and on holidays in the Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World at Lake Buena Vista, Fla.,
a huge fireworks display lights up the sky.
One night I noticed a small boy about three years old perched on his father's shoulder. The child sat mesmerized, aware only of what was exploding in the heavens. When the fireworks were over, the little boy looked up into the sky again and said, "Thank you, God."

~~~~~

After listening restlessly to a long and tedious sermon, a six-year-old boy asked his father what the preacher did the rest of the week.
"Oh, he's a very busy man," the father replied. "He takes care of church business, visits the sick, ministers to the poor...and then he has to have time to rest up. Talking in public isn't an easy job, you know."
The boy thought about that, then said, "Well, listening ain't easy, either!

~~~~~

A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.
"He died and we
The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.
Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.
Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.
The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.
The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
Moses died before he ever reached Canada.
Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son
to stand still and he obeyed him.
David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar.
He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.
Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.
When the three wise guys from the east side arrived,
they found Jesus in the manager.
Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you. He also explained, "a man doth not live by sweat alone."
It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead
and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels.
The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.
St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony,
which is another name for marriage.
Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.

~~~~~

My pastor was about to take offering and asked if anyone would like to sing a special. My friend's six-year-old daughter raised her hand. Her mother reached out to grab her hand and pull it down but it was too late. The pastor saw it....called out to her and asked her to come forward and share her song.

She stood up straight and grabbed the microphone and proceeded to sing...
"I wish they could all be California girls".
Submitted by J. Williams
~~~~~
At our Mother/Daughter banquet the pastor's wife asked for the daughters
to come forward to share what their mother has taught them.
She choose my 14-year-old daughter and as I sat their reviewing
all the wonderful things I taught her, she said,
"My mom taught me to love my body now, because
I'm going to hate it when I'm 40."

Submitted by J. Williams
~~~~~
A child was watching his mother sift through and delete a long list
of junk E-mail on the computer screen.
"This reminds me of the Lord's Prayer," the child said.
"What do you mean?" the mother asked.
"You know. That part about 'deliver us from E-mail."

*******************************************************************



JoannasJokes
making the world a better place,
a laugh at a time!
You are invited to join JoannasJokes for clean jokes,
trivia, little known facts, recipes and incidental information at:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/joannasjokes/join/ ... one of
the fastest growing joke sites on the web!!!

P.S. Please forward this to all of your friends!!!


























[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]






------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~-->
Make a clean sweep of pop-up ads. Yahoo! Companion Toolbar.
Now with Pop-Up Blocker. Get it for free!
http://us.click.yahoo.com/L5YrjA/eSIIAA/yQLSAA/ZkgolB/TM
---------------------------------------------------------------- unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
arizona_humor-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

<*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to:
http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/




Famous Quotes Casserole Recipes Halloween Recipes Recipe

Christmas Funny Jokes Famous Quotes

arizona humor Puns of the Weak 10-25-04



PUNS OF THE WEAK for the week ending 10-25-04

THE ONE-LINERS

When Queen Elizabeth the First was greeted by the Lord Mayor of London
with "Hail to the Queen!" she reproved him by exclaiming, "How dare you
hail when I am reigning?" (John S. Crosbie)

What did the bartender ask Charles Dickens when he ordered a martini?
Olive or Twist? (Tony Thoennes)

Some guys view marriage as a matter of wife and debt. (Gail S. Angel)

Insomnia? Well, don't lose any sleep over it.

Did you hear about the bum who walked up to the Jewish mother on the
street and said, "Lady, I haven't eaten in three days." "Force
yourself," she replied. (Cynthia MacGregor)

Women should be obscene and not heard. (Groucho Marx)

When the cannibal ate the missionary it was a case where one man's meat
was another man's parson.

An unscrupulous lawyer stayed up with a pretty widow all one night
trying to break her will.

Families are like fudge, mostly sweet with a few nuts. (Fred Barling)

Outdoor lights were put up at the golf course for people who liked
swinging nightclubs. (Pun of the Day)

The email of the species is more deadly than the mail. (Joseph Harris )

She divorced me for religious reasons. She worshipped money and I
didn't have any. (Haust Javeri)

There's one tiny of island that is never bothered by hurricanes. It's
called "No problem atoll." (Gary Hallock)

The casinos in Las Vegas have something new for the gambler: races
between rabbits and rodents. If you don't want to bet any bunny, you
can always baccarat! (John S. Crosbie)

The chimney sweep crouched down in the fireplace and peered up the
chimney. "Looks like this one hasn't been touched in about eighty
years! I'm not sure, but I'll give it my best flue shot." (Bob Dvorak)

I heard that 12 mad cows were found in Japan. One cow got mad during
milking and said, "this is udderly ridiculous and now it can even be
said of us we are Mad in Japan." (Edgar McAvoy from Ruminations.com)

There is a place here in NW Arkansas called "Knight Times" Tattoo and
Body Piercing. It is in the shape of a miniature castle and has faux
stone facade. We passed it the other day and I asked my husband if they
Lancelot there. (Tiff Wimberly)

Now you can have an athlete in the family. The producers of a major
ice-skating show have made a deal with a medical research firm so that
they can offer everyone who attends their performances a free ice-queen
clone. (John S. Crosbie)

My brother called me the other day and said that he had watched the
Siegfried and Roy Special on NBC. I asked him how Roy looked. He said
"like something the cat dragged in". (Tom Evans)

After spending all day Sunday watching football on television, a man
fell asleep and spent the night in the chair. His wife woke him in the
morning. "It's twenty to seven," she called. "In who's favor?"
(Pastor Tim Davis)

On an AM radio talk show in Austin this morning I heard a caller say
that "Bush ran an oil drilling company into the ground". Well, DUH,
isn't that what drilling companies do? (Guy Ben-Moshe)

The Muzak Corporation once considered going into the water-bed
business, feeling that they could make extra profits on the sheet
music. (John S. Crosbie)

In Switzerland, disabled men are not allowed to serve in the military.
As a result, their taxes are higher. I could never see this happening
in America. For one thing, the Quadriplegics Union would be up in arms
over the idea. (D. Cook)

The labor boss and his wife gave the marriage counselor a union
grievance. (Jumble: Arnold & Argirlon)

The consequence of playing drums often is re-p Bravery is arriving home late after a night out with the boys,
being assaulted by your wife with a broom and still having the guts to
ask... "Are you cleaning, or were you flying somewhere?" (GIL Ross)

Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly
understood that they are on the same side. (Zig Ziglar)

Ham and Eggs. Just a day's work for a chicken but a lifetime commitment
for a pig. (Anon.)

If at first you don't succeed, lie, lie again. (Laurence J. Peter)

When it becomes a crime to love, you should probably consider dating
outside the family. (Paul Cooper)

The joy of motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the children
are finally in bed. (Anon.)

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had
smallpox. (Woody Allen)

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then
complain that he's not the man she married? (Barbara Streisand)

If I had to be either omniscient or omnipotent, I would choose
omnipotent, because that way I could beat up all those know-it-alls.
(Lawrence Serewicz from Ruminations.com)

A few families in Peru own estates larger than Belgium. Some other
landowners have to put up with estates only half, or even less than
half, the size of Belgium. (George Mikes)

In matters of principle, stand like a rock; in matters of taste, swim
with the current. (Thomas Jefferson)

Love means never having to say, "Does that twenty include the
spanking?" (Paul Cooper)

Women, can't live with 'em, can't make misogynistic generalizations
without 'em. (Emko Witteveen)

The food that you get in art museums is institutional revenge for the
art that you get in restaurants. (Douglas Helsel)

We cannot see the future. We cannot change the past. We can only live
in the now with an eye towards gaining enough power in the future to
wreak revenge on everyone who ever screwed us in the past. (Paul
Cooper)

PUNY CONUNDRUMS

What does earning minimum wage have to do with getting paid frequently?
Because youâ¬re paid weakly (Scott Ryan)

The young housewife was aghast as the kitchen towel fell into her
skillet and immediately caught fire, ruining the dinner and singeing
her hair. You might say she was not just scared, but what?
Terry-fried (Lars Hanson)

Researchers have virtually completed mapping the human chromosomes.
While the most obvious use of this undertaking will be in the treatment
of hereditary diseases, there is some concern that this new technology
could be used to develop a race of superhumans by accelerating the
process of random mutation. What could you call a device that causes
rapid mutating to occur?
A Gene Wilder (Stan Kegel)

What would be another term for corruption of the inheritors of an
estate?
Heir pollution (Clynch Varnadore)

When the escapee slipped through the jimmied door on Wednesday night he
saw the stainless steel vats and the rows of milk cartons. As the music
swells it is obvious he is in a...?
Drama dairy (Norm Stevenson)

The "science" of cloning is proceeding faster than the general public
realizes. The technicians that created Dolly have spread the word among
colleges that they can now create any other part of a human body from
any existing tissue from that body. A competing labratory, in
possession of a sample of tissue from the hearing organs of a defeated
US presidential candidate, has wagered them that they can not take this
sample and reproduce part of his reproductive system. Convinced that
they can, Dolly's creators announced they were WHAT?
"Betting Dole Ears To Dole Nuts" (Gary Reeves )

With election time close at hand, I'm getting more and more reque Farm's Ire (Gary Hallock)

Environmental protection has become the most important issue of the
decade. So it is no surprise that the Department of Interior has
started placing electronic devices along the smallest streams to
protect them from pollution and other dangers. These devices are known
as:
Brook Shields (By Stan Kegel)

While on a recent campaign tour, George W. Bush made a stop at a
Federal Prison to do a bit of palm-slapping with the warden and his
staff, who were still undecided voters. The Secret Service made the
decision to part his limo inside the walls of the complex, in the hope
that this would provide better protection for the vehicle.
Unfortunately, they were unaware that a good deal of the cell windows
facing the interior were only covered with bars. The inmates took
advantage of this by hurling objects at the limo, causing damage of the
kind that the President most wanted to avoid during his election run.
What kind of damage did the President's limo receive?
In-de-Pen-dents. (Lee Jackson)

These Iraqi agrarians are a mixed lot. It turns out that not all of
them threw rotten vegetables. One peasant in particular didn't really
raise crops, per se. He raised a certain bird-of-prey. As he had no
vegetables to throw, he opted instead waking some of his birds and
having them pelt the troops with feces. The military name for the
smelly bombs is a spooner of the place where our friend raised his
birds.
Foul Arms (Owl Farms) (Clynch Varnadore)

What would a trench-coated exhibitionist use to display himself at
night?
A Flash Light (Bradley Williams)

The two cowboys involved in the range war with the farmers (they did
fight people other than Indians, you know!) rode hard when they saw the
shotgun barrels pointed at them, but though the cowpokes escaped injury
themselves, both their horses were less lucky. If the cattle drive was
to continue, the cowboys would need two new horses right away. How
crucial would you say it was?
It was of pair o'mount importance. (Cynthia MacGregor)

Many years ago Dirk was a young copywriter who was addicted to a
particular licorce flavored breath freshener. He ate so many that his
older coworkers gave him a nickname that reflected his job and his
addiction. they called him the⬦?
The sen sen addy kid (Norm Stevenson)

When Burundi found itself in fiscal crisis, it hired the Beach Boys to
sing a song asking a neighbor for assistance... Of course, titled...
Help Me, Rwanda (Bob Dvorak)

How might one describe an armed king of the beasts?
A cat with lion knives. (By Lars Hanson)

The important letter she was reading as she ate fell from her balcony
and fluttered toward the canal below. She was about to lose it! At the
last minute, she reached out and speared it with her fork, averting a
disaster. What did she exclaim?
I caught it just in tine! (By Cynthia MacGregor)





------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~-->
Make a clean sweep of pop-up ads. Yahoo! Companion Toolbar.
Now with Pop-Up Blocker. Get it for free!
http://us.click.yahoo.com/L5YrjA/eSIIAA/yQLSAA/ZkgolB/TM
--------------------------------------------------------------------~->

Jokes and Humor

********************************************

Life Story Writing
Famous Quotes

Famous Quotes

Famous Quotes

Funny Quotes

Famous Quotes Casserole Recipes Halloween Recipes Recipe

Christmas Funny Jokes Famous Quotes

arizona humor Useful phrases to use at work ...



Useful phrases to use at work

I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

Thank you. We're all refreshed and
challenged by your unique point of view.

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

I will always cherish the initial misconceptions
I had about you.

I'm not being rude.
You're just insignificant.

I'm really easy to get along with
once you people learn to worship me.

The fact that no one understands
you doesn't mean you're an artist.

I don't know what your problem is,
but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

Any connection between your reality
and mine is purely coincidental.

I have plenty of talent and vision.
I just don't give a damn.

I'm already visualizing the duct tape
over your mouth.

It's a thankless job,
but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

No, my powers can only be used for good.

How about *never*? Is *never* good for you?

I'm out of my mind,
but feel free to leave a message.

Who, me? I just wander from room to room.

It might look like I'm doing nothing,
but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.

At least I have a positive attitude
about my destructive habits.

You are validating my inherent mistrust
of strangers.

I see you've set aside this special time
to humiliate yourself in public.

Someday, we'll look back on this,
laugh nervously and change the subject.
*******************************************************************


JoannasJokes
making the world a better place,
a laugh at a time!
You are invited to join JoannasJokes for clean jokes,
trivia, little known facts, recipes and incidental information at:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/joannasjokes/join/ ... one of
the fastest growing joke sites on the web!!!

P.S. Please forward this to all of your friends!!!






























[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]






------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~-->
Make a clean sweep of pop-up ads. Yahoo! Companion Toolbar.
Now with Pop-Up Blocker. Get it for free!
http://us.click.yahoo.com/L5YrjA/eSIIAA/yQLSAA/ZkgolB/TM
--------------------------------------------------------------------~->

Jokes and Humor

********************************************

Life Story Writing
Famous Quotes

Famous Quotes

Famous Quotes

Funny Quotes

Love Quotes

Famous Recipes

If you got this from someone else subscribe at:
Arizona Humor
or send an email to:
arizona_humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

Yahoo! Groups Links

<*> To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/arizona_humor/

<*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
arizona_humor-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

<*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to:
http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/




Famous Quotes Casserole Recipes Halloween Recipes Recipe

Christmas Funny Jokes Famous Quotes

Internal Revenue Service Audit - IRS to Audit NAACP Tax Exempt Status, Asserts Julian Bond Speech Was Political

Internal Revenue Service Audit - IRS to Audit NAACP Tax Exempt Status, Asserts Julian Bond Speech Was Political

10/29/2004 9:01:00 AM


News Advisory:

NAACP Chairman Julian Bond and NAACP President Kweisi Mfume will hold a press teleconference Friday morning in response to a notice from the Internal Revenue Service that the NAACP's tax exempt status is under review.

According to the IRS, Bond's July 11 speech to the NAACP Convention allegedly intervened in the Presidential political campaign. The NAACP believes the timing of the IRS audit is aimed at slowing down the expected large turnout of African American and Latino voters.

Famous Quotes Casserole Recipes Halloween Recipes Recipe

Christmas Funny Jokes Famous Quotes

10.28.2004

NASCAR Wine Tasting

The Top 8 Signs You're at a NASCAR Wine Tasting

8. Everyone dumps a little wine on the ground and says "Good Ol'
Number 3" whenever Dale Earnhardt is mentioned.

7. For slower drinking, the glasses have restrictor plates.

6. You won the raffle and scored the only, and highly coveted, bottle
of Chateau Talladega 96 octane.

5. The winning wine this week is the #3 bottle, sponsored by Tide,
Miller Light, NAPA Auto Parts, and Rogaine.

4. "The corkscrew was working really well today, but then Billy
bumped me while I was trying to open the Merlot, but that's just wine
tasting."

3. The winning Oklahoma vintner swears that 10W30 means "bottled on
October 30."

2. Later in the day, you see 30 cars weaving around the track at ten
miles an hour with their left blinkers on.

And the #1 Sign You're at a NASCAR Wine Tasting...

1. No one's really interested in the wine -- they're all just waiting
to see someone drop a bottle!



Quotes - Famous Quotes
Quotes
Famous Quotes

Famous Quotes Casserole Recipes Halloween Recipes Recipe

Christmas Funny Jokes Famous Quotes

10.27.2004

arizona humor Don't say I didn't warn you...



A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beach in
Montego Bay, Jamaica. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of
the town. "What a peaceful & loving couple". A local newspaper reporter was
inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in America," explained the man.

"We visited the Grand Canyon in Arizona and took a trip down to the bottom
of the canyon by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse
stumbled and she almost fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and
quietly said, "That's once." We proceeded a little further and the horse
stumbled again, this time causing her to drop her water. Once more my wife
quietly said, "That's twice." We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse
stumbled for a third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her
purse and shot the horse dead.

I shouted at her, "What's wrong with you, Woman! Why did you shoot the poor
animal like that? Are you crazy??"

She looked at me, and quietly said, "That's once."



"And from that moment we have lived happily ever after."


Thelly, the Storylady, Cardiff by the Sea
For a virtual visit go to http://www.lifestorywriting.net/
Join the fun at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/lifestory/
For Quiet Moments http://www.gospelcom.net/rbc/odb/odb.shtml
Seeking? http://www.reasons4faith.org/
Troubled with? http://www.troubledwith.com
NEW! SPIRITUAL RETREAT- http://groups.yahoo.com/group/spiritual-retreat/











------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~-->
$9.95 domain names from Yahoo!. Register anything.
http://us.click.yahoo.com/J8kdrA/y20IAA/yQLSAA/ZkgolB/TM
--------------------------------------------------------------------~->

Jokes and Humor

********************************************

Life Story Writing
Famous Quotes

Famous Quotes

Famous Quotes

Funny Quotes

Love Quotes

Famous Recipes

If you got this from someone else subscribe at:
Arizona Humor
or send an email to:
arizona_humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

Yahoo! Groups Links

<*> To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/arizona_humor/

<*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
arizona_humor-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

<*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to:
http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/




Famous Quotes Casserole Recipes Halloween Recipes Recipe

Christmas Funny Jokes Famous Quotes

arizona humor Do you want the *speshul*?



We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the special was
two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99. "Sounds
good," my wife said. "But I don't want the eggs."

"Then I'll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine
cents because you're ordering a la carte," the waitress
warned her.

"You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?" my
wife asked incredulously. "I'll take the special."

"How do you want your eggs?"

"Raw and in the shell," my wife replied. She took the two
eggs home.


Thelly, the Storylady, Cardiff by the Sea
For a virtual visit go to http://www.lifestorywriting.net/
Join the fun at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/lifestory/
For Quiet Moments http://www.gospelcom.net/rbc/odb/odb.shtml
Seeking? http://www.reasons4faith.org/
Troubled with? http://www.troubledwith.com
NEW! SPIRITUAL RETREAT- http://groups.yahoo.com/group/spiritual-retreat/






[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]






------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~-->
Make a clean sweep of pop-up ads. Yahoo! Companion Toolbar.
Now with Pop-Up Blocker. Get it for free!
http://us.click.yahoo.com/L5YrjA/eSIIAA/yQLSAA/ZkgolB/TM
--------------------------------------------------------------------~->

Jokes and Humor

********************************************

Life Story Writing
Famous Quotes

Famous Quotes

Famous Quotes

Funny Quotes

Love Quotes

Famous Recipes

If you got this from someone else subscribe at:
Arizona Humor
or send an email to:
arizona_humor-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

Yahoo! Groups Links

<*> To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/arizona_humor/

<*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
arizona_humor-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

<*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to:
http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/




Famous Quotes Casserole Recipes Halloween Recipes Recipe

Christmas Funny Jokes Famous Quotes

10.26.2004

Stock Quotes Help Network - Stock Trading

Blog marketing tool
world famous recipes

Famous Quotes Casserole Recipes Halloween Recipes Recipe

Christmas Funny Jokes Famous Quotes

10.25.2004

Perfect Man

At the local coffee shop, a female friend couldn't help but overhear a young woman who was expounding on her idea of the perfect man to some of her friends.

"He must be a shining light among company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing, entertain. And stay home at night!"

She interjected, "If that's all you want, you should save yourself a lot of trouble and just get yourself a TV!"




Quotes - Famous Quotes
Quotes
Famous Quotes

Famous Quotes Casserole Recipes Halloween Recipes Recipe

Christmas Funny Jokes Famous Quotes