Inner Peace

Dr. Phil proclaimed "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the
things you've started." So I looked around my house to see all the
things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this
morning, I finished off a bottle of Chardonay, a bottle of White
Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's, a package of Oreos, the remainder of
both Prozac and Valium prescriptions, the rest of the cheesecake, some
saltines and a box of chocolates.

You have no idea how freaking good I feel. Please pass this on to those
you feel are in need of inner peace.

Vending Machines