Funny Jokes - Funny Jokes and Humor: 01/09/2005 - 01/15/2005 - Funny Jokes and Humor from a variety of sources are posted when the mood hits. Funny Joke postings sent to the Funny Jokes Mailing List are also archived here.

1.15.2005

1.14.2005

Stop In The Name

Stop In The Name...
===================

An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening
of church services when she was startled by an intruder.

She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its
valuables and yelled, "Stop! Acts 2:38!" (Repent and be
baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be
forgiven.)

The burglar stopped in his tracks.

The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had
done. As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked
the burglar, "Why did you just stand there? All the old lady
did was yell a scripture to you."

"Scripture?" replied the burglar.

"She said she had an ax and two 38's!"

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1.13.2005

World Famous Recipes � ROAST TURKEY

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ROAST TURKEY

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The new Texas preacher was a dead ringer for Conway Twitty,
the country music singer. One day he decided to visit some of the
church members who hadn't been to service lately. He went to the first
church member's house and knocked on the door. A lady answered the door, and
practically shouted, "it's Conway Twitty!"

"No ma'am," he replied. "I'm your new pastor, and I came to have prayer
with you." So she told him to come right on in. He
visited several more homes, and everyone thought he was Conway Twitty.

Then he came to a widow woman's house on the end of the street.
She was taking a shower at the time, so she just wrapped a towel around
her and opened the door. When she saw her caller, in her excitement,
she threw up her hands which allowed the towel to fall to the floor.

"Oh, my God!" she exclaimed. "It's Conway Twitty!"

The preacher said......."Hello, Darlin".......

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