Funny Jokes

1.20.2005

SWEEPA rubber broom plus oversized microfiber cleaning cloth with each Rubber Sweepa Broom

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Placement

Be the very first listing in the top search engines immediately.
 
Our company will now place any business with a qualified website at the top of the major search engines guaranteed never to move (ex: Yahoo!, MSN, Alta Vista, etc.).  This promotion includes unlimited traffic and is not going to last long.  If you are interested in being guaranteed first position in the top search engines at a promotional fee, please reply to us promptly to find out if you qualify. PLEASE INCLUDE THE URL or WEB SITE ADDRESS YOU ARE INTERESTED IN PROMOTING.  This is not pay per click.  Examples will be provided.
  
 
Sincerely,
 
The Search Engine Placement Specialists

 

 

If you wish to be removed from this list, please respond to the following email address: remove@demservice.net  and type the word “REMOVE” in your subject line.

 

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1.19.2005

AWARD NOTIFICATION(CONGRATULATIONS)


REELSTAKES PLAZA,
AV5 CASTILLA 28009
VALENCIA-SPAIN
FROM: THE DESK OF THE PROMOTIONS MANAGER,
INTERNATIONAL PROMOTIONS/PRIZE AWARD DEPARTMENT,
REF: RSL /26510460037/04
BATCH: 24/00319/IPD
ATTENTION: RE/ AWARD NOTIFICATION: FINAL NOTICE
We are pleased to inform you of the announcement
as one of our lucky winners of the REELSTAKES PROMO LOTTERY,
INTERNATIONAL PROGRAMS held on 18th january 2005.
Your e-mail address is attached to ticket number
023-0148-790-459, with serial number 5073-11 drew
the lucky numbers 43-11-44-37-10-43, and consequently
won the lottery in the 3rd category. You are one of the 17 lucky
winners
in the "3RD"category of the online
lotto
conducted by REELSTAKES Lotto International.
You have therefore been approved of a lump sum pay
of US$2,300,000.00 in cash credited to file REF
NO. RSL/25041238013/04. This is from total prize money
of US$39,100,000.00, shared among the seventeen
international winners in this category. All winners e-mail address
were
selected through a computer ballot system drawn from a total number of
25,000 email addresses drawn from
Australia, New Zealand, America, Europe,Africa, North America and
Asia as part of International Promotions Program, which is conducted
annually.
CONGRATULATIONS!
Your fund is now deposited under the custody of a Financial
Security company whom on due processing of your winning
documentations and appropriate identification shall release
to you a certified bank check through a secured mailing
procedure or via telegarphic transfer to your bank account in any part
of the world as you may wish.
You are therefore requested to indicate to ensure a prompt
processing of your payment.
we ask that you keep this award strictly from public notice until
your claim has been processed and your money received by
you.This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming or
unscrupulous acts by unauthorized persons.
To begin your claim, please contact our claims department manager:
MR. VICENTE PEREZ
CLAIMS DEPARTMENT MANAGER,
EMAIL: vicenteperez@centrum.cz
For due processing and remittance of your prize
money to you.
Remember, all prize money must be claimed not later
than 28th january 2005. After this date, all funds will
be returned as unclaimed.
NOTE: In order to avoid unnecessary delays and
complications, please remember to quote your
reference and batch numbers in every one of your
correspondences with our claim department manager.
Furthermore, should there be any change of your address,
do inform your claims agent as soon as possible.
Congratulations again from all our staff and thank
you for being part of our promotions program.
Sincerely,
Raul Lique
THE PROMOTIONS MANAGER,
REELSTAKES PROMO LOTTERY SPAIN
N.B. Any breach of confidentiality on the part of
the winners will result to disqualification.
This email is confidential and intended solely for the use of the
individual to whom it is addressed



___________________________________________________________________________
Mail sent from WebMail service at PHP-Nuke Powered Site
- http://yoursite.com

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Chicken Recipes - Healthy Chicken Recipes Directory

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1.16.2005

Super Bowl Sweepstakes Includes Five Trips to Big Game at ALLTEL Stadium - Phoenix AZ Phoenix Arizona

super bowl sweepstakes

Phoenix Arizona: ALLTEL, Motorola Offer $1 Million Super Bowl Prize 'TXT2Win MVP Sweepstakes' Includes Five Trips to Big Game at ALLTEL Stadium - Phoenix AZ Phoenix Arizona

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In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with Haiku poetry messages. They are used to communicate a timeless

In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with Haiku poetry messages. They are used to communicate a timeless message, often achieving a wistful, yearning and powerful insight through extreme brevity. Here are 16 actual error messages from Japan.
-----------------------------------------------
The web site you are seeking
cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.
-----------------------------------------------
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
-----------------------------------------------
Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.
-----------------------------------------------
Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death. (My favorite!)
No one hears your screams.
-----------------------------------------------
Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.
-----------------------------------------------
Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
-----------------------------------------------
Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.
-----------------------------------------------
AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE!!
A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.
-----------------------------------------------
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
-----------------------------------------------
You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
-----------------------------------------------
Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
-----------------------------------------------
Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
-----------------------------------------------
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

Isn't that better than "your computer has performed an illegal
operation" ?



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