Funny Jokes

3.31.2005

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"The Train of Life" |
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| Some folks ride the train of life looking out the rear, |
| Watching miles of life roll by and marking every year. |
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| They sit in sad remembrance of wasted days gone by, |
| And curse their life for what it was and hang their head and cry. |
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| But I don't concern myself with that, I took a different vent, |
| I look forward to what life holds and not what has been spent. |
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| So strap me to the engine, as securely as I can be, |
| I want to be out on the front, to see what I can see. |
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| I want to feel the winds of change, blowing in my face, |
| I want to see what life unfolds, as I move from place to place. |
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| I want to see what's coming up, not looking at the past, |
| Life's too short for yesterdays, it moves along too fast. |
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| So if the ride gets bumpy, while you are looking back, |
| Go up front, and you may find, your life has jumped the track. |
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| It's all right to remember, that's part of history, |
| But up front's where it's happening, there's so much mystery. |
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| The enjoyment of living is not where we have been, |
| It's looking ever forward to another year and ten. |
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| It's searching all the byways, never should you refrain, |
| For if you want to live your life, you gotta drive the train. |



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Taxes

Tax Day, April 15, was looming when an elderly lady
appeared at my desk at the IRS. She said she required
a thick stack of tax forms.

"Why so many?" I asked.

"My son is stationed overseas," she said. "He asked
me to pick them up."

"You shouldn't have to do this," I told her. "It's
the base commander's job to make sure the troops have
the forms they need."

"I know," she replied. "I'm the base commander's
mother."

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3.30.2005

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3.29.2005

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3.27.2005

Twas the Day Before Easter

Twas the Day Before Easter

Twas the day before Easter and all through the woods,
The bunnies were busy packing their goods.
The eggs were all colored so pretty and bright,
All things were "go" for the big , special night.

The baskets were waiting, all decorated with care,
In hopes that the Bunny soon would be there.
My little brother Sam was asleep in his bed,
While visions of Easter eggs rolled round his head.

And I in my pajamas with the cat on my lap,
I had just settled down for a quick little nap.
When outside the window I heard a great noise,
I sprang from my chair and jumped over some toys.

As quick as a flash to the window I flew,
I pulled up the shade and , OH, what a view.
The moon on the meadow cast a bright golden glow
And the wind blew the flowers to and then fro.

Then all of a sudden from out of nowhere,
Came some lively bunnies, hopping here, hopping there!
Leading the group with ears long and funny
Was a plump all-white rabbit...
That's right...the EASTER BUNNY!

The bunnies hopped past, one, two , three, four,
The rabbit called out and then there were more.
"Come Peter! Come, Flopsy! Come, Benny! Come, Joe!
Now hop along! Hop along! Hop along! GO!"

So up on each doorstep the bunnies did hop,
With baskets of eggs. (Let's hope they don't drop)!
Just at that moment, on the porch down below,
Came the stomping of feet 'Twas the rabbit I know!

As I stepped from my window I heard a loud sound.
Through the door came the rabbit with a leap and a bound.
He was furry and soft from his head to his feet.
To see him so close was really quite neat.

He was surrounded by eggs that had been carefully dyed.
Easter eggs galore he soon would hide.
His eyes were all twinkles, His nose was so pink,
And I can't be too sure but I think he did wink.

He had a kind face and a big fluffy tail
That bobbed up and down like a boat with a sail.
A twitch of his nose and a flick of his ear
Was his way of saying "You've nothing to fear."

He uttered no sound as he hopped all about,
Hiding the eggs and leaving no doubt,
That the Easter Bunny had come like he does every year...
Bringing baskets of happiness to children so dear.

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