Funny Jokes

4.07.2005

Vending Machines

Vending Machines
Vending Machines Vending Machines Vending Machines Vending Machines Vending Machines North American Vending Machines Vending Machines



Vending machines
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

Soda pop and snack vending machines
A vending machine is a machine that dispenses merchandise when a customer deposits money sufficient to purchase the desired item (as opposed to a shop, where the presence of personnel is required for every purchase). It is believed to have been first invented by Hero of Alexandria, a 1st century inventor. His machine accepted a coin and then dispensed a fixed amount of "holy water".


Newspaper vending machine
In the United States, vending machines generally serve the purpose of selling snacks and soda pop, but are also common in busy locations to sell newspapers.

Items sold via vending machine may vary by country. For example, some countries sell alcoholic beverages such as beer through vending machines, while other countries do not allow this (usually because of dram shop laws). Cigarettes were commonly sold in the U.S. through these machines, but this practice is increasingly rare due to concerns about underage buyers. Sometimes a pass has to be inserted in the machine to prove one's age.

With regard to newspaper vending machines, a customer could open the box and make off with all of the newspapers after paying for one (or in the alternative, leave all of the newspapers outside of the box). The success of such machines is predicated on the assumption that the customer will be honest, which is helped by the fact that having more is often not useful.


Cigarette vending machines in Tokyo, with promotion girlIn Japan, with a high population density and low rates of vandalism and petty crime, there seems to be no limits to what is sold by vending machines. One can imagine anything, and it is likely that there is a vending machine available to provide it; even bottles of wine and pairs of underwear can be purchased from vending machines.

In the U.S., most vending machines are operated by individuals who buy or rent the machines, stock the merchandise, and keep some of the profits. Other machines, such as U.S. Postal Service machines are maintained by governmental or quasi-governmental entities.

Most modern vending machines have been extensively tested and designed to inhibit theft. Many of these machines are designed essentially as large safes. Every year, a few people are killed when machines topple over on them, either while trying to steal from them, or venting frustration on them, especially when a malfunction causes the machine to fail to dispense the purchased item or the proper change (leading to the humorous saying, "change is inevitable, except from a vending machine").


Candy machine
The actual causes to vending machine malfunction are usually many-fold. However, certain vending machines use a spiral kind of mechanism to separate and to hold the products. When the machine vends, the spiral turns, thus pushing the product forward and falling down to be vended. If the products and the spiral are misaligned, the spiral may turn but not fully release the product, leaving the spiral snagged on the product and having it hang there. This may cause repercussions to the alignment of the products behind it if someone knocks the hanging product down, as the spiral must move a fixed distance.


Beer & Wine vending machines ⬠situation where one buys a ticket valid for one day as yet undetermined, and then decides to use it on a particular day. For that purpose, one has the day stamped by the machine on the ticket. A common problem is forgetting to validate and then being fined as if one had no ticket at all.

Such machines are not used in the United States. All American mass transit networks operating on the honor system expect their users to buy tickets immediately before use; regular riders can avoid that inconvenience by buying monthly passes in advance (often from the same machines that sell daily or one-time tickets).

There are also machines that issue free tickets, e.g. those for virtual queueing.

Source: Vending machine - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
All text is available under the terms of the Wikipedia:Text of the GNU Free Documentation License - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia



Vending Machines

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Phoenix Arizona

They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq.

Why don't we just give them ours?

It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it's worked for over 200 years,


and we're not using it anymore.




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Clean-Up Crew

When the driver of a huge trailer lost control of his rig, he plowed into an empty toll booth and smashed it to bits.

Unhurt, he climbed down from the cab and looked around.

In minutes, a repair truck pulled up and discharged a crew of workers.

The men from the crew each picked up a broken piece of the former tollbooth and spread some kind of creamy substance on it. Then they began fitting the pieces back together.

In less than a half hour, they had the entire tollbooth reconstructed and looking good as new.

"Amazing!" the truck driver said to the crew chief. "What was the white stuff you used to get all the pieces together?"

The crew chief said, "Oh, that was tollgate booth paste."