Funny Jokes

11.05.2005

[ funny jokes ] Your guess is as good as mine



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Some tourists in the Chicago Museum of Natural History are
marveling at the dinosaur bones. One of them asks the guard,
"Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?"

The guard replies, "They are three million, four years, and
six months old."

"That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist. "How do
you know their age so precisely?"

The guard answers, "Well, the dinosaur bones were three
million years old when I started working here, and that was
four and a half years ago!"
 
Thelly, the Storylady, Cardiff by the Sea
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11.04.2005

[ funny jokes ] Ulterior motives...



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While walking through a parking lot, I tripped and fell flat
on my face.

As I was lying there, a woman stopped her car and called
out, "Are you hurt?"

"No, I'm fine," I said, touched by her concern.

"Oh, good," she continued. "So will you be vacating your
parking space now?"
 
 
Thelly, the Storylady, Cardiff by the Sea
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11.03.2005

[ funny jokes ] A matter of semantics



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Little Jordan was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd
been  playing outside for a while when he came into the house and asked
his, "Grandma, what is it called when people sleep ontop of each
other?"

She was a little taken aback, but decided to tell him the truth. "It's
called sexual intercourse,  darling."Then she explained all about the
birds and the bees to him in detail.
Little Jordan just said, "OK" and went back outside to play.
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma,
it is not called sexual intercourse! It's called bunk beds!"
 
 
 
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11.01.2005

[ funny jokes ] Indian Scout



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An old Wild West fort is about to be attacked. The wily old
general sends for his trusty Indian scout. "You must use all
your thirty years of skill in trying to estimate the sort of
army we are up against here."

The trusty Indian scout lies down and puts his ear to the
ground. "Heap large war party," he says, "maybe three
hundred braves, four chiefs, two on black stallions, two on
white stallions. All have war paint. Many many guns.
Medicine man also with them."

"Good grief!" exclaims the general. "You can tell all of
that just by listening to the ground?"

"No," replies the Indian, "I can see under the gate."
 
 
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[ funny jokes ] Weather report...



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"This house," said the real estate salesman, "has both its
good points and its bad points. To show you I'm honest, I'm
going to tell you about both.

"The disadvantages are that there is a chemical plant one
block south and a slaughterhouse a block north."

"What are the advantages?" inquired the prospective buyer.

"The advantage is that you can always tell which way the
wind is blowing."
 
 
Thelly, the Storylady, Cardiff by the Sea
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