John Kerry and Late Night Comedians

John Kerry and Late Night Comedians

Late night Comedians and Talk Show hosts are having a Field Day

"In his speech last night, John Kerry said this was the beginning of
the end of the Bush administration. I agree. It may take another
five years, but this is it."

"John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for
president. Democrats finally found someone who is Al Gore without
the flash and the sizzle."

"Kerry has already begun his search for a running
mate. They say that because John Edwards still has $50 million in
campaign money, Kerry might pick him. Pick him? Hey, for $50
million, Kerry will marry him"



"Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the
ban on gay marriages. I'm telling you this guy has more positions
than Paris Hilton."

"According to a new study, Botox injections can help back pain. So
you see, that's why John Kerry had all that Botox - his back was
killing him from all that flip-flopping on issues."


"The Democrats are all over this. Democratic
strategists feel John Kerry's war record means he can beat Bush.
They say when it comes down to it voters will always vote for a war
hero over someone who tried to get out of the war. I'll be sure to
mention that to Bob Dole when I see him."

"They had a profile of John Kerry on the news and they said his
first wife was worth around $300 million and his second wife, his
current wife, is worth around $700 million. So when John Kerry says
he's going after the wealthy in this country, he's not just talking.
He's doing it!"

"In a new issue of Esquire magazine, they revealed that before he
was married to Teresa Heinz, Senator John Kerry dated Morgan
Fairchild, Michelle Phillips, Catherine Oxenberg and Dana Delany.
Finally a Democratic presidential candidate with good taste in
women." Jay Leno

"John Kerry's victory over Howard Dean has completely changed the
presidential race around. Now instead of the rich white guy from
Yale who lives in the White house facing off against the rich white
guy from Yale who lives in Vermont, he may have to face the rich
white guy from Yale who lives in Massachusetts. It's a
whole different game."


"John Kerry is recovering nicely after having prostate surgery. But
the doctors did tell him it would be several months before he could
be sexually active again. All the other Democratic candidates have
been very supportive. Joe Lieberman called to wish him the best.
The Rev. Al Sharpton called to offer prayers. Former President Bill
Clinton called Mrs. Kerry and asked if she was lonely."