Jewish Haiku

Jewish Haiku

After the warm rain

the sweet smell of camellias.

Did you wipe your feet?

*****

Her lips near my ear,

Aunt Sadie whispers the name

of her friend's disease.

*****

Today I am a man.

Tomorrow I will return

to the seventh grade.

*****

Testing the warm milk

on her wrist, she sighs softly.

But her son is 25.

*****

The sparkling blue sea

reminds me to wait an hour

after my sandwich.

*****

Lacking fins or tail

the gefilte fish swims with

great difficulty.

*****

Like a bonsai tree,

your terrible posture

at my dinner table.

*****

Beyond Valium,

the peace of knowing one's child

is an internist.

*****

Jews on safari-

map, compass, elephant gun,

hard sucking candies.

*****

The same kimono

the top geishas are wearing:

I got it at Loehmann's.

*****

The shivah visit:

so sorry about your loss.

Now back to my problems.

*****

Mom, please! There is no

need to put that dinner roll

in your pocketbook.

*****

Seven-foot Jews in

the NBA slam-dunking!

My alarm clock rings.

*****

Sorry I'm not home

to take your call. At the tone

please state your bad news.

*****

Is one Nobel Prize

so much to ask from a child

after all I've done?

*****

Today, mild shvitzing.

Tomorrow, so hot you'll plotz.

Five-day forecast: feh

*****

Passover

Left the door open

for the Prophet Elijah.

Now our cat is gone.

*****

Yenta. Shmeer. Gevalt.

Shlemiel. Shlimazl. Meshuganah

Oy! To be fluent!

*****

Quietly murmured

at Saturday services,

Yanks 5, Red Sox 3.

*****

A lovely nose ring,

excuse me while I put my

head in the oven.

****

Hard to tell under the lights.

White Yarmulke or

male-pattern baldness.