[ funny jokes ] Men and directions!
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A little boy was waiting on his mother to come out of a
store. As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked,
"Son, can you tell me where the post office is?"
The little boy replied, "Sure, just go straight down the
street a couple of blocks and turn to your right."
The man thanked the boy kindly and said, "I'm the new
preacher in town, and I'd like for you to come to church on
Sunday. I'll show you how to get to Heaven."
The little boy replied with a chuckle, "Awww, come on; you
don't even know the way to the post office!"
store. As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked,
"Son, can you tell me where the post office is?"
The little boy replied, "Sure, just go straight down the
street a couple of blocks and turn to your right."
The man thanked the boy kindly and said, "I'm the new
preacher in town, and I'd like for you to come to church on
Sunday. I'll show you how to get to Heaven."
The little boy replied with a chuckle, "Awww, come on; you
don't even know the way to the post office!"
Thelly, the Storylady, Cardiff by the Sea
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1.25.2006
[ funny jokes ] Worrisome, huh?
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Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want
ad for an accountant. He was being interviewed by a very
nervous man who ran a three-man business.
"I need someone with an accounting degree," the man said.
"But mainly, I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for
me."
"Excuse me?" the young accountant said.
"I worry about a lot of things," the man said. "But I don't
want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take
all the money worries off my back."
"I see," the young accountant said. "And how much does the
job pay?"
"I will start you at eighty-five thousand dollars."
"Eighty-five thousand dollars!" the young man exclaimed.
"How can such a small business afford a sum like that?"
"That," the owner said, "is your first worry."
ad for an accountant. He was being interviewed by a very
nervous man who ran a three-man business.
"I need someone with an accounting degree," the man said.
"But mainly, I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for
me."
"Excuse me?" the young accountant said.
"I worry about a lot of things," the man said. "But I don't
want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take
all the money worries off my back."
"I see," the young accountant said. "And how much does the
job pay?"
"I will start you at eighty-five thousand dollars."
"Eighty-five thousand dollars!" the young man exclaimed.
"How can such a small business afford a sum like that?"
"That," the owner said, "is your first worry."
Thelly, the Storylady, Cardiff by the Sea
For a virtual visit go to http://www.lifestorywriting.net/
Join the fun at http://groups.msn.com/LifeStoryWriting
For Quiet Moments http://www.gospelcom.net/rbc/odb/odb.shtml
Seeking? http://www.reasons4faith.org/
Spiritual Retreat http://groups.yahoo.com/group/spiritual-retreat/
The Truth Project www.thetruthproject.org
My Blog Spot: http://cardiffstorylady.blogspot.com/
For a virtual visit go to http://www.lifestorywriting.net/
Join the fun at http://groups.msn.com/LifeStoryWriting
For Quiet Moments http://www.gospelcom.net/rbc/odb/odb.shtml
Seeking? http://www.reasons4faith.org/
Spiritual Retreat http://groups.yahoo.com/group/spiritual-retreat/
The Truth Project www.thetruthproject.org
My Blog Spot: http://cardiffstorylady.blogspot.com/
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1.23.2006
The Evolution of Math
Last week I purchased a burger and fries at McDonalds for $3.58.
The counter girl took my $4.00 and I pulled 8 cents
from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there,
holding the nickel and 3 pennies. While looking at the
screen on her register, I sensed her discomfort and
tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but
when I tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and
cried.
Why do I tell you this?
Because of the evolution in teaching math since the
1950s:
Teaching Math In 1950
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His
cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his
profit?
Teaching Math In 1960
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His
cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What
is his profit?
Teaching Math In 1970
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His
cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?
Teaching Math In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His
cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20 Your
assignment: Underline the number 20.
Teaching Math In 1990
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is
selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the
habitat of animals or the preservation of our
woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of
$20. What do you think of this way of making a living?
Topic for class participation after answering the
question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the
logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong
answers.)
Teaching Math In 2005
Un ranchero vende una carretera de madera para $100.
El cuesto de la produccion era $80. Cuantos tortillas
se puede comprar?
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The counter girl took my $4.00 and I pulled 8 cents
from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there,
holding the nickel and 3 pennies. While looking at the
screen on her register, I sensed her discomfort and
tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but
when I tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and
cried.
Why do I tell you this?
Because of the evolution in teaching math since the
1950s:
Teaching Math In 1950
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His
cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his
profit?
Teaching Math In 1960
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His
cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What
is his profit?
Teaching Math In 1970
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His
cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?
Teaching Math In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His
cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20 Your
assignment: Underline the number 20.
Teaching Math In 1990
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is
selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the
habitat of animals or the preservation of our
woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of
$20. What do you think of this way of making a living?
Topic for class participation after answering the
question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the
logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong
answers.)
Teaching Math In 2005
Un ranchero vende una carretera de madera para $100.
El cuesto de la produccion era $80. Cuantos tortillas
se puede comprar?
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A Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden, and an American from the Army Corps of Engineers-- are working together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes total," says the Genie.
The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada." Pooooof! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.
Osama bin Ladin was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Jews or Americans can come into our precious state." Pooooof! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries.
The American engineer says, "I am very curious. Please, tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 5000 feet high, 500 ft thick and completely surrounds the country. Nothing can get in or out -- it's virtually impenetrable."
The American engineer says, "Fill it with water”
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The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada." Pooooof! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.
Osama bin Ladin was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Jews or Americans can come into our precious state." Pooooof! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries.
The American engineer says, "I am very curious. Please, tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 5000 feet high, 500 ft thick and completely surrounds the country. Nothing can get in or out -- it's virtually impenetrable."
The American engineer says, "Fill it with water”
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[ funny jokes ] Dentures
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A couple of old guys were golfing when one said he was going
to Dr. Taylor for a new set of dentures in the morning.
His friend remarked that he had gone to the same dentist a
few years before. "Is that so?" the first said. "Did he do a
good job?"
"Well, I was on the course yesterday when the fellow on the
ninth hole hooked a shot," he said. "The ball must have been
going 200 mph when it hit me in the stomach. That," he
added, "was the first time in two years my teeth didn't
hurt."
to Dr. Taylor for a new set of dentures in the morning.
His friend remarked that he had gone to the same dentist a
few years before. "Is that so?" the first said. "Did he do a
good job?"
"Well, I was on the course yesterday when the fellow on the
ninth hole hooked a shot," he said. "The ball must have been
going 200 mph when it hit me in the stomach. That," he
added, "was the first time in two years my teeth didn't
hurt."
Thelly, the Storylady, Cardiff by the Sea
For a virtual visit go to http://www.lifestorywriting.net/
Join the fun at http://groups.msn.com/LifeStoryWriting
For Quiet Moments http://www.gospelcom.net/rbc/odb/odb.shtml
Seeking? http://www.reasons4faith.org/
Spiritual Retreat http://groups.yahoo.com/group/spiritual-retreat/
The Truth Project www.thetruthproject.org
My Blog Spot: http://cardiffstorylady.blogspot.com/
For a virtual visit go to http://www.lifestorywriting.net/
Join the fun at http://groups.msn.com/LifeStoryWriting
For Quiet Moments http://www.gospelcom.net/rbc/odb/odb.shtml
Seeking? http://www.reasons4faith.org/
Spiritual Retreat http://groups.yahoo.com/group/spiritual-retreat/
The Truth Project www.thetruthproject.org
My Blog Spot: http://cardiffstorylady.blogspot.com/
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1.22.2006
Funny Quotes - Funny Sayings
Funny Sayings
My second favorite household chore is ironing.
My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
- Erma Bombeck
Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.
- Bill Vaughan
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)
My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping.
- Rita Rudner
Quotable Quotes
My second favorite household chore is ironing.
My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
- Erma Bombeck
Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.
- Bill Vaughan
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)
My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping.
- Rita Rudner
Quotable Quotes
