Government Cows

You have two cows.

Your rich neighbor has ten thousand cows. In an election year, he
gives two of those cows to his congressman. He gives two each to his
senators, and each member of his family gives two cows to the
president's re-election campaign.

The following April, the government comes and takes one of your
cows, and gives it to your rich neighbor.

In February, your other cow dies because someone dumped industrial
waste in the aquifer. You can't sue, though, because a "no lawsuits
over dead cows" clause was recently added to an omnibus
appropriations bill.

The state comes and asks for your cow, because its budget is in
shambles. You don't have any cows anymore. The state takes your
house.

While walking to the homeless shelter, you notice your rich neighbor
putting his cows in semi- trucks. "Where are these cows going?" you
ask a driver.

"Can't say," he replies. "It's a matter of national security."

"Seriously?" you ask, incredulous.

"Nah, just joshin' you," he says. "These here are being shipped off
to an overseas cow shelter. He's tired of giving his cows to the
government."


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