You Might Be A Republican If...
- You've ever tried to prove that Jesus was a capitalist and opposed
- You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.
- You think "proletariat" is a type of cheese.
- You've named your kids "Deduction One" and "Deduction Two".
- You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people
allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.
- You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic
- You think Huey Newton is a cookie.
- The only union you support is the Baseball Players, because heck,
they're richer than you.
- You think you might remember laughing once as a kid.
- You once broke loose at a party and removed your neck tie.
- You call mall rent-a-cops "jack-booted thugs".
- You've ever referred to the moral fiber of something.
- You've ever uttered the phrase,"Why don't we just bomb the